1 00:00:00,904 --> 00:00:03,165 [instrumental music playing] 2 00:00:31,416 --> 00:00:34,199 ["King Frat" playing] 3 00:00:46,272 --> 00:00:49,890 ♪ King Frat, King Frat 4 00:00:49,925 --> 00:00:53,021 ♪ Welcome, everybody Come and join the party ♪ 5 00:00:53,057 --> 00:00:56,153 ♪ King Frat, King Frat 6 00:00:56,188 --> 00:00:59,284 ♪ The place is always crowded Kids are always loaded ♪ 7 00:00:59,319 --> 00:01:03,007 ♪ All the kids are playing Everybody's stayin' ♪ 8 00:01:03,042 --> 00:01:06,173 ♪ Always something Crazy to do ♪ 9 00:01:06,207 --> 00:01:09,374 ♪ Everybody knows The place is a zoo ♪ 10 00:01:09,408 --> 00:01:11,844 ♪ Kids are having The times of their lives ♪ 11 00:01:11,879 --> 00:01:12,818 [all yelling and laughing] 12 00:01:12,853 --> 00:01:15,080 ♪ You can too 13 00:01:15,114 --> 00:01:16,332 [laughing] 14 00:01:21,447 --> 00:01:24,891 ♪ King Frat, King Frat 15 00:01:24,926 --> 00:01:28,057 ♪ Booze is always flowing Smoke is always blowing ♪ 16 00:01:28,092 --> 00:01:31,606 ♪ Causing such a riot Place is never quiet ♪ 17 00:01:31,640 --> 00:01:34,563 ♪ Pulling stunts to put The dean on the spot ♪ 18 00:01:34,597 --> 00:01:37,834 ♪ When you run against The campus' shot ♪ 19 00:01:37,868 --> 00:01:41,104 ♪ Once you've seen him There's no way to deny it ♪ 20 00:01:41,138 --> 00:01:44,131 ♪ Sweet enough 21 00:01:44,165 --> 00:01:47,018 ♪ King Frat, King Frat 22 00:01:47,053 --> 00:01:50,254 ♪ Always on the run Never meet the guardian ♪ 23 00:01:50,289 --> 00:01:53,350 ♪ King Frat, King Frat 24 00:01:53,385 --> 00:01:56,516 ♪ Everybody's laughing What a time they're having ♪ 25 00:01:56,551 --> 00:02:00,414 ♪ Joking with their buddies And teasing all the others ♪ 26 00:02:00,448 --> 00:02:02,153 [whistle blowing] 27 00:02:05,040 --> 00:02:08,207 ♪ It's a circus game Instead of a school ♪ 28 00:02:08,241 --> 00:02:11,581 ♪ And the clowns are trying To break every rule ♪ 29 00:02:11,617 --> 00:02:14,782 ♪ If you wanted You can come join the fun ♪ 30 00:02:14,817 --> 00:02:17,287 ♪ If you run 31 00:02:25,046 --> 00:02:26,542 [tires squealing] 32 00:02:43,694 --> 00:02:46,199 Oh, God. Would you look at that? 33 00:02:49,853 --> 00:02:53,401 ♪ King Frat, King Frat 34 00:02:53,435 --> 00:02:56,393 ♪ Place is always funky Everybody's talking ♪ 35 00:02:56,428 --> 00:02:59,629 ♪ King Frat, King Frat 36 00:02:59,664 --> 00:03:02,899 ♪ Campus isn't moving Because of what they're doing ♪ 37 00:03:02,933 --> 00:03:06,239 ♪ Causing a sensation And waking up the nation ♪ 38 00:03:08,535 --> 00:03:11,562 Gross! 39 00:03:11,597 --> 00:03:15,459 Bobby, I can't believe those guys haven't been kicked out of school yet. 40 00:03:15,494 --> 00:03:18,103 One more look at those hairy butts, and I'm gonna puke. 41 00:03:18,138 --> 00:03:21,234 They still haven't found the films they made in the girls' locker room. 42 00:03:21,270 --> 00:03:25,653 Betty, if I had a nickel for every pair of panties they've stolen from me... 43 00:03:25,687 --> 00:03:27,497 They're a bunch of jerk-offs! 44 00:03:27,532 --> 00:03:28,993 Assholes! 45 00:03:29,620 --> 00:03:31,150 [all laughing raucously] 46 00:03:40,997 --> 00:03:44,579 ♪ King Frat, King Frat 47 00:03:44,615 --> 00:03:46,807 ♪ The guys are always teaming Imagine what they're steaming ♪ 48 00:03:46,841 --> 00:03:47,711 [farting] 49 00:03:47,746 --> 00:03:49,798 ♪ King Frat, King Frat 50 00:03:49,834 --> 00:03:51,434 You rascals! 51 00:03:51,468 --> 00:03:52,895 [groans] 52 00:03:58,462 --> 00:04:00,131 [groaning] 53 00:04:11,926 --> 00:04:13,770 [Dean Doyle] I'm the dean of students at this college, 54 00:04:13,804 --> 00:04:16,657 and I'll deal with the Pi Kaps in my own way. 55 00:04:16,693 --> 00:04:18,432 But, sir, they're running rampant again. 56 00:04:18,466 --> 00:04:20,102 I'm letting them run rampant. 57 00:04:21,703 --> 00:04:24,312 Got a new strategy this year. 58 00:04:24,346 --> 00:04:27,583 I'm not gonna bother getting them kicked off campus. 59 00:04:27,617 --> 00:04:30,436 I'm not gonna bother getting their charter revoked. 60 00:04:30,470 --> 00:04:33,567 I'm gonna straighten out the Pi Kaps personally. 61 00:04:40,490 --> 00:04:44,109 Just like I straightened out the state pen when I was warden there. 62 00:04:44,143 --> 00:04:46,892 But, sir, wasn't that prison burned down to the ground by inmates? 63 00:04:47,761 --> 00:04:48,909 [blows] 64 00:04:48,945 --> 00:04:50,371 Don't ever mention that. 65 00:04:51,136 --> 00:04:52,459 Don't ever mention that! 66 00:04:52,493 --> 00:04:54,685 When I take over... [chuckles] 67 00:04:54,720 --> 00:04:57,329 I'm gonna have everybody walking the line. 68 00:04:57,364 --> 00:05:00,599 Fraternities, faculty, everybody. 69 00:05:00,635 --> 00:05:04,009 And what I'd do to Pi Kappa Delta, 70 00:05:04,044 --> 00:05:05,052 [chuckles] 71 00:05:05,088 --> 00:05:07,662 that will be a cornerstone of my presidency. 72 00:05:08,289 --> 00:05:09,506 ♪ 73 00:05:19,735 --> 00:05:20,953 [clattering] 74 00:05:31,286 --> 00:05:32,747 [men laughing] 75 00:05:38,766 --> 00:05:41,097 [Splash] Did you see that old lady seeing my black ass? 76 00:05:41,132 --> 00:05:43,150 "Look at that black ass!" 77 00:05:43,915 --> 00:05:45,446 -Hey, Splash. -Yeah? 78 00:05:45,480 --> 00:05:46,838 I think I was recognized. 79 00:05:46,872 --> 00:05:50,422 What, did you have a harelip on your ass? 80 00:05:50,456 --> 00:05:52,231 Hey. I'll see you. I got to go to work. 81 00:05:55,084 --> 00:05:56,266 Let's get the beer. 82 00:05:56,302 --> 00:05:57,414 [laughing] 83 00:06:00,059 --> 00:06:01,381 Whoo! 84 00:06:10,392 --> 00:06:13,036 Hey, Chief! Chief! 85 00:06:20,655 --> 00:06:22,778 Here's your ration, Chief. 86 00:06:24,622 --> 00:06:26,535 Uh-uh! It's suds call. 87 00:06:26,570 --> 00:06:28,170 Hey! What's happening? 88 00:06:28,205 --> 00:06:29,875 Hey, Kevin, it's suds call. 89 00:06:29,910 --> 00:06:32,589 Oh, no, no, I can't. I got to go to the library, do some studying. 90 00:06:32,623 --> 00:06:33,528 Next time, though, okay? 91 00:06:33,563 --> 00:06:36,347 -Okay. -[laughs] Hey, Jock. 92 00:06:36,381 --> 00:06:38,260 Don't strain yourself. Yes, good. 93 00:06:38,295 --> 00:06:41,043 Hmm. Hey, Chief, how you doing, huh? 94 00:06:43,375 --> 00:06:45,010 [gulping] 95 00:06:47,236 --> 00:06:50,890 Hey, hey! Suds call! All right! 96 00:06:50,924 --> 00:06:53,324 Listen up and look up. Here you go! 97 00:06:53,360 --> 00:06:57,117 Here's one for you, there's another one for you, 98 00:06:57,152 --> 00:06:59,135 there's one for you, 99 00:06:59,170 --> 00:07:02,162 and here's a last one for you. 100 00:07:02,197 --> 00:07:05,398 Hey, listen up. Here's a kiss for you, darling. 101 00:07:05,432 --> 00:07:06,616 [farts] 102 00:07:06,650 --> 00:07:08,215 [laughing] 103 00:07:12,217 --> 00:07:13,504 [dripping] 104 00:07:17,819 --> 00:07:20,462 -[bell clanging] -Hey! Beer call! 105 00:07:21,575 --> 00:07:24,011 Come and get it if you want 'em, all! 106 00:07:24,881 --> 00:07:26,273 -Hey! -Hey! 107 00:07:26,307 --> 00:07:28,847 Hey! There you go! 108 00:07:28,882 --> 00:07:32,361 Got your lunches over here. Now, look at it. 109 00:07:32,396 --> 00:07:34,309 Come and get it. Get it here. 110 00:07:34,901 --> 00:07:36,606 Get your stuff. 111 00:07:36,641 --> 00:07:38,311 [movie projector whirring] 112 00:07:38,345 --> 00:07:40,885 [GrossOut] Hey, you jerk-offs. How about some beer? 113 00:07:40,920 --> 00:07:43,216 Hey, hey! Hey, what's going on? 114 00:07:43,251 --> 00:07:45,617 Ooh, movies! All right! 115 00:07:45,652 --> 00:07:46,765 Whoo-hoo! 116 00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:48,748 [man 1] Hey! 117 00:07:48,783 --> 00:07:51,392 GrossOut, you are fucking gross. Get out of there! 118 00:07:51,427 --> 00:07:52,888 -[man 2] Come on! -[man 3] Hey! 119 00:07:52,923 --> 00:07:54,801 [man 1] Come on! I've been waiting all week to see her! 120 00:07:54,837 --> 00:07:56,959 -[man 4] Oh, my God! -[man 1] Jesus Christ! 121 00:07:56,993 --> 00:08:01,621 Will you get out of there, you stupid shit? 122 00:08:01,656 --> 00:08:03,812 [man 1] Hey, here's where they notice. Watch this. 123 00:08:03,848 --> 00:08:05,309 Watch, here's where they notice. 124 00:08:05,344 --> 00:08:07,188 [all laughing] 125 00:08:09,345 --> 00:08:10,667 ♪ 126 00:08:37,457 --> 00:08:39,927 I don't know what's coming. 127 00:08:39,961 --> 00:08:43,893 Hey, Splash, you take care with Dionysus here, okay? 128 00:08:45,563 --> 00:08:47,163 Yeah, don't get his feet wet. 129 00:08:49,947 --> 00:08:51,895 You motherfucker. 130 00:09:01,846 --> 00:09:03,446 [sniffing] 131 00:09:03,480 --> 00:09:05,011 Needs something. 132 00:09:05,047 --> 00:09:07,273 Pepper. Pepper, that's it. 133 00:09:10,787 --> 00:09:13,501 Oh. [spits] God. 134 00:09:22,859 --> 00:09:24,600 GrossOut, where is Kevin? 135 00:09:24,634 --> 00:09:26,096 Beats the shit out of me, Chief. 136 00:09:26,130 --> 00:09:27,348 How about some spags? 137 00:09:27,383 --> 00:09:29,157 No, no. White man food. 138 00:09:31,906 --> 00:09:33,645 It don't matter. It ain't done yet, anyway. 139 00:09:34,480 --> 00:09:37,854 Look like... dog dropping. 140 00:09:38,342 --> 00:09:39,351 [sniffs] 141 00:09:39,386 --> 00:09:41,264 Smell like pig shit. 142 00:09:41,300 --> 00:09:44,744 I know. I make all your favorites. 143 00:09:44,778 --> 00:09:46,204 [toilet flushing] 144 00:09:48,083 --> 00:09:50,485 Chief, the toilets are running again. 145 00:09:50,519 --> 00:09:53,546 I tell you, I tell all of you, 146 00:09:53,581 --> 00:09:56,956 you put in toilet number one, you put in toilet number two. 147 00:09:56,990 --> 00:09:59,947 You put in something else, it's not my fault. 148 00:09:59,983 --> 00:10:01,618 Hey, GrossOut, is that stuff ready yet? 149 00:10:01,652 --> 00:10:03,218 Patience, Fred. 150 00:10:07,254 --> 00:10:09,063 [spits] 151 00:10:09,968 --> 00:10:11,255 That's ready. 152 00:10:15,986 --> 00:10:17,100 And that's ready. 153 00:10:19,049 --> 00:10:20,684 Hey, my gum. 154 00:10:22,423 --> 00:10:23,815 Mmm. 155 00:10:23,849 --> 00:10:25,206 That ain't it. 156 00:10:27,293 --> 00:10:28,825 Where the fuck is that? 157 00:10:41,280 --> 00:10:46,012 You work hard, Kevin. That good. You genius. 158 00:10:46,047 --> 00:10:47,647 You have bright future. 159 00:10:47,682 --> 00:10:50,326 You'll be a rich man before you 30 years old. 160 00:10:51,022 --> 00:10:54,849 Red man like me? No way. 161 00:10:54,884 --> 00:10:58,050 Ten years I go to the school on G.I. Bill, 162 00:10:58,085 --> 00:10:59,511 still a sophomore. 163 00:10:59,928 --> 00:11:01,424 I am screwed. 164 00:11:02,642 --> 00:11:03,790 [sighs] 165 00:11:03,826 --> 00:11:07,513 Kevin, do you know how Yellowstream get its name? 166 00:11:07,548 --> 00:11:09,566 You know how Yellowstream get its name? 167 00:11:09,600 --> 00:11:12,071 I tell you many times. 168 00:11:12,106 --> 00:11:15,202 But we're friends, blood brothers. 169 00:11:15,237 --> 00:11:19,064 Let me tell you how Yellowstream get its name, Kevin. 170 00:11:19,725 --> 00:11:21,360 [tribal music playing] 171 00:11:21,395 --> 00:11:25,709 Many years ago, my people, the Kissawong, lived on this very land. 172 00:11:25,744 --> 00:11:29,676 Hunted the forests, fished in the streams. 173 00:11:29,710 --> 00:11:31,972 It was our land. 174 00:11:32,006 --> 00:11:35,103 Then the white man came and drove my people up the river 175 00:11:35,137 --> 00:11:38,200 into the rocky hills where not even a gopher could live. 176 00:11:39,208 --> 00:11:42,131 My ancestors didn't like that. 177 00:11:42,166 --> 00:11:47,768 My ancestors pissed in white man's water for 50 years. 178 00:11:47,802 --> 00:11:49,820 White man never knew. 179 00:11:50,689 --> 00:11:53,021 Fucking dummies! 180 00:11:53,055 --> 00:11:56,118 [chanting in native language] 181 00:12:06,485 --> 00:12:08,921 Beer, Chief. Beer? 182 00:12:09,477 --> 00:12:10,452 Oh. 183 00:12:18,766 --> 00:12:21,655 Okay, okay. Santa Claus is here. 184 00:12:21,689 --> 00:12:23,534 Now, who ordered what? 185 00:12:23,568 --> 00:12:24,890 [clanging] 186 00:12:24,925 --> 00:12:26,247 How did it go tonight, Splash? 187 00:12:26,281 --> 00:12:28,821 Just like having your own personal department store. 188 00:12:28,857 --> 00:12:32,405 Say, where is GrossOut? I just happen to have his history paper. 189 00:12:34,562 --> 00:12:35,885 [farts] 190 00:12:35,919 --> 00:12:37,380 [exhales] 191 00:12:40,547 --> 00:12:43,748 Holy shit! Fart contest! 192 00:12:46,565 --> 00:12:47,817 Whoo! What? 193 00:12:47,853 --> 00:12:50,357 I say, what was Alpha doing with this, huh? 194 00:12:50,393 --> 00:12:52,236 Question is, what are we gonna do with it? 195 00:12:52,271 --> 00:12:53,314 Yeah. [chuckles] 196 00:12:53,350 --> 00:12:55,472 Hey. Hey, guys! 197 00:12:55,506 --> 00:12:57,072 Look at this. Look at this. 198 00:12:57,107 --> 00:12:58,986 The Daily Crock is sponsoring the contest. 199 00:12:59,021 --> 00:13:00,342 That undercover rag. 200 00:13:00,378 --> 00:13:02,221 GrossOut, I told you, if you keep reading that thing, 201 00:13:02,257 --> 00:13:03,718 your pecker's gonna fall off. 202 00:13:03,752 --> 00:13:07,476 Yeah, but look, it says, "First annual fart contest..." 203 00:13:07,510 --> 00:13:10,259 Wait, wait. Let me see that. Let me see that. 204 00:13:10,293 --> 00:13:11,824 Oh, yeah. It's for real. 205 00:13:11,859 --> 00:13:14,782 Holy shit! Five hundred bucks for first prize. 206 00:13:14,816 --> 00:13:16,277 Kevin, how many kegs of brew is that? 207 00:13:16,312 --> 00:13:18,156 Thirty-seven point eight at today's market closing. 208 00:13:18,191 --> 00:13:20,800 Holy shit, 37-point-fucking-8 kegs of brew. 209 00:13:20,835 --> 00:13:22,261 Can you imagine that? 210 00:13:22,297 --> 00:13:23,897 Man, we can party all the way to St. Patrick's Day! 211 00:13:23,932 --> 00:13:25,115 [all exclaiming] 212 00:13:25,149 --> 00:13:27,376 Uh, there's an entrance fee, guys. 213 00:13:27,411 --> 00:13:28,211 How much? 214 00:13:28,246 --> 00:13:29,846 Shit, too much, 50 bucks. 215 00:13:29,881 --> 00:13:34,230 Anything is too much. Our treasury is already blown, you guys. 216 00:13:34,265 --> 00:13:36,282 Hey, wait a minute. Wait a minute. 217 00:13:36,318 --> 00:13:38,718 We got a cherry coming in here tomorrow night, a new pledge. 218 00:13:38,753 --> 00:13:41,571 Uh, Tommy... Tommy something or the other. 219 00:13:41,605 --> 00:13:46,303 I think his parents could be persuaded to sponsor us. 220 00:13:46,337 --> 00:13:49,643 [laughs] You guys are just... just too, too much. 221 00:13:49,677 --> 00:13:51,104 Do you think we got a chance at winning? 222 00:13:51,139 --> 00:13:52,982 Does GrossOut have an asshole? 223 00:13:53,539 --> 00:13:54,792 [farts] 224 00:13:54,827 --> 00:13:55,731 [laughing] 225 00:13:55,767 --> 00:13:57,680 That's how I spell "relief." 226 00:13:59,141 --> 00:14:00,567 ♪ 227 00:14:05,403 --> 00:14:06,795 [typewriter clacking] 228 00:14:48,406 --> 00:14:51,607 [church bell tolling] 229 00:15:22,571 --> 00:15:24,728 [organ music playing] 230 00:15:47,308 --> 00:15:50,788 [Dean Doyle] Members of Yellowstream community, 231 00:15:50,822 --> 00:15:54,893 this is indeed a sad day for us all. 232 00:15:54,927 --> 00:15:59,729 We've come together today to mourn the untimely passing 233 00:15:59,763 --> 00:16:05,156 of one of the most respected and revered members of our community. 234 00:16:05,192 --> 00:16:10,793 Our beloved president, Robert J. McGafferty 235 00:16:10,828 --> 00:16:16,255 It's heartwarming to see so many students and friends here today. 236 00:16:16,290 --> 00:16:20,221 The mark of a man is the love he leaves behind, 237 00:16:20,256 --> 00:16:23,283 and we are a college full of love 238 00:16:23,318 --> 00:16:25,266 for this fine administrator... 239 00:16:25,300 --> 00:16:26,344 [sobbing] 240 00:16:26,380 --> 00:16:29,371 ...educator, and public servant. 241 00:16:30,172 --> 00:16:31,911 [continues indistinctly] 242 00:16:35,808 --> 00:16:37,757 Hey, look, there's a vent we can use. 243 00:16:51,742 --> 00:16:55,013 He was the youngest president Yellowstream has ever had, 244 00:16:55,048 --> 00:16:58,840 and his term of office was unfortunately marred 245 00:16:58,875 --> 00:17:02,041 by a general relaxation of the discipline 246 00:17:02,076 --> 00:17:05,068 for which Yellowstream has been known. 247 00:17:05,103 --> 00:17:09,452 And not all of us agreed with Bob's handling of student affairs. 248 00:17:09,486 --> 00:17:11,539 Man, this is some dynamite shit! 249 00:17:11,574 --> 00:17:13,697 It's too bad we gotta waste it like this. 250 00:17:13,731 --> 00:17:15,889 Well, it might be a waste of good shit, 251 00:17:15,923 --> 00:17:18,289 but at least it's going to a better calling. 252 00:17:18,323 --> 00:17:19,471 [blowing] 253 00:17:21,003 --> 00:17:22,916 [Dean Doyle] He was always the first to admit 254 00:17:22,951 --> 00:17:26,395 that he may have been too easy on them. 255 00:17:26,430 --> 00:17:29,909 But all that's going to change. 256 00:17:29,944 --> 00:17:33,667 The board of directors is selecting a new president, 257 00:17:33,701 --> 00:17:36,937 who, hopefully, will correct the mistakes of the past. 258 00:17:36,972 --> 00:17:37,946 [crowd giggling] 259 00:17:37,980 --> 00:17:41,426 Who will move the school back where it belongs, 260 00:17:41,460 --> 00:17:44,765 where "discipline" is not a dirty word, 261 00:17:44,800 --> 00:17:49,114 and bizarre behavior can be dealt with severely. 262 00:17:49,880 --> 00:17:52,106 [muffled laughs] 263 00:17:54,890 --> 00:17:57,673 I'm sorry that strikes you as funny over here. 264 00:17:57,707 --> 00:18:00,039 He spent his entire life in academia. 265 00:18:00,073 --> 00:18:05,014 He's never had the opportunity to discover what people do 266 00:18:05,049 --> 00:18:07,867 when all restraints are lifted. 267 00:18:08,667 --> 00:18:09,920 Right here, 268 00:18:09,954 --> 00:18:12,390 right here on this campus, we have a fraternity. 269 00:18:12,424 --> 00:18:14,617 And I'm not mentioning any names. 270 00:18:14,651 --> 00:18:18,792 This fraternity feels as though they have the run of the entire school. 271 00:18:18,826 --> 00:18:19,766 [crowd laughing] 272 00:18:19,800 --> 00:18:24,393 Well, they're in for a big surprise! 273 00:18:24,428 --> 00:18:26,932 What the hell is so damn funny? 274 00:18:26,968 --> 00:18:28,499 [all laughing] 275 00:18:28,533 --> 00:18:31,317 I wasn't warden at state pen for nothing. 276 00:18:31,351 --> 00:18:34,030 I know how to deal with people. 277 00:18:34,066 --> 00:18:36,814 I won't make the same mistakes McGafferty made. 278 00:18:36,849 --> 00:18:38,135 He was weak. 279 00:18:38,171 --> 00:18:40,537 He thought you could make students listen to reason. 280 00:18:40,954 --> 00:18:42,102 You were a fool! 281 00:18:42,137 --> 00:18:43,076 [hysterical laughter] 282 00:18:43,111 --> 00:18:44,468 And see where it got you. 283 00:18:44,503 --> 00:18:46,417 Well, now it's my turn! 284 00:18:46,451 --> 00:18:49,512 You rat-fat-faced, mealy-mouthed weasel! 285 00:18:49,548 --> 00:18:51,635 I'll bury you myself! 286 00:18:52,888 --> 00:18:56,262 Those punk heads, they think that college is summer camp! 287 00:18:56,750 --> 00:18:58,663 You farty freak! 288 00:18:58,698 --> 00:19:00,611 You coddled and babied them. 289 00:19:00,646 --> 00:19:02,142 Are you listening to me? 290 00:19:02,177 --> 00:19:03,047 Listen! 291 00:19:11,014 --> 00:19:12,475 Good riddance! 292 00:19:17,311 --> 00:19:19,955 [yelling] 293 00:19:19,991 --> 00:19:21,347 You schmuck! 294 00:19:21,382 --> 00:19:22,634 Hell, yeah! 295 00:19:22,669 --> 00:19:24,827 This is the time, baby! 296 00:19:24,861 --> 00:19:27,087 [yelling indistinctly] 297 00:19:28,131 --> 00:19:30,880 I'll dig the hole myself! 298 00:19:30,915 --> 00:19:32,689 [laughter continues] 299 00:19:47,580 --> 00:19:49,146 ♪ 300 00:20:00,001 --> 00:20:01,427 Oh, yeah. 301 00:20:05,916 --> 00:20:07,551 So how do you like it? Neat, huh? 302 00:20:07,585 --> 00:20:08,803 This can't be it. 303 00:20:08,838 --> 00:20:11,169 Oh, God! Tommy dear, 304 00:20:11,203 --> 00:20:13,291 when Dad and I said you could pledge a fraternity, 305 00:20:13,326 --> 00:20:15,901 we had no idea you'd choose something like this. 306 00:20:15,935 --> 00:20:17,988 We thought perhaps you'd choose a nice house. 307 00:20:18,023 --> 00:20:20,040 A fraternity like Alpha Omega. 308 00:20:20,076 --> 00:20:22,093 No, Mom! Gee! 309 00:20:22,128 --> 00:20:23,485 [Chief] Yeah! 310 00:20:24,285 --> 00:20:26,060 -Whoo! -Oh, my God! 311 00:20:27,104 --> 00:20:29,470 [yelling in native language] 312 00:20:31,209 --> 00:20:32,183 [exclaiming] 313 00:20:32,218 --> 00:20:34,757 -Chief, Chief, Chief! -What was that? 314 00:20:34,793 --> 00:20:36,636 Ah! Missed him again. 315 00:20:36,672 --> 00:20:39,176 Ah! Mr. and Mrs. Mathews. 316 00:20:39,211 --> 00:20:42,238 Oh, how good of you to bring Tommy with you! [laughs] 317 00:20:42,273 --> 00:20:45,369 Oh, hi, I'm Kevin. Pi Kappa Delta's pledge master. 318 00:20:45,404 --> 00:20:48,013 Oh, and that over there, that was Chief Latrine. 319 00:20:48,049 --> 00:20:51,110 Hey, did you know that he's a true Kissawong Indian? 320 00:20:51,144 --> 00:20:52,849 No, listen, you don't have to worry about him. 321 00:20:52,885 --> 00:20:55,145 He's a little shell-shocked since the Korean War. 322 00:20:55,181 --> 00:20:57,303 You know, we can't take him to a Chinese restaurant. 323 00:20:57,337 --> 00:20:59,530 [laughs] He thinks he's back in Pork Chop Hill again. 324 00:20:59,564 --> 00:21:01,339 [laughs] Get it? Pork Chop... Forget it. 325 00:21:01,373 --> 00:21:03,322 Hey! Hey, hey, Tommy. How you doing? 326 00:21:03,357 --> 00:21:04,679 You're all ready for initiation day? 327 00:21:04,713 --> 00:21:06,940 Hey, GrossOut is still here. You remember the whole-- 328 00:21:06,975 --> 00:21:08,401 We'll just get Tommy settled. 329 00:21:08,436 --> 00:21:10,384 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 330 00:21:10,419 --> 00:21:13,029 No parents are allowed inside when we initiate a pledge. 331 00:21:13,063 --> 00:21:14,385 Oh, but there's no need to worry. 332 00:21:14,420 --> 00:21:16,891 Yellowstream has a fine ambulance service. 333 00:21:16,925 --> 00:21:18,560 [laughing] 334 00:21:18,596 --> 00:21:19,883 [whistle blowing] 335 00:21:20,369 --> 00:21:21,761 [door opens] 336 00:21:21,796 --> 00:21:23,222 [drum roll playing] 337 00:21:23,814 --> 00:21:26,006 Guys, meet the Mathews. 338 00:21:26,041 --> 00:21:27,467 Mathews, meet the guys. 339 00:21:32,129 --> 00:21:33,451 [creaking] 340 00:21:36,513 --> 00:21:38,462 [growling] 341 00:21:39,157 --> 00:21:40,340 [laughs] 342 00:21:40,375 --> 00:21:42,706 Uh, there is a one-time initiation fee, sir. 343 00:21:42,741 --> 00:21:44,341 Did Tommy explain that to you? 344 00:21:44,376 --> 00:21:45,732 What for? 345 00:21:45,768 --> 00:21:48,829 Oh, well, to assure that Tommy doesn't get initiated. 346 00:21:48,865 --> 00:21:50,882 What kind of a con game is this? 347 00:21:50,917 --> 00:21:54,048 Uh, George, I think the boy is serious 348 00:21:54,082 --> 00:21:56,588 and, um, sincere. 349 00:21:56,622 --> 00:21:57,597 How much? 350 00:21:57,632 --> 00:22:00,032 Oh... $500. 351 00:22:00,067 --> 00:22:01,945 Five hundred dollars? 352 00:22:05,529 --> 00:22:08,243 Ah, here's the official Pi Kap courtesy car. 353 00:22:10,714 --> 00:22:12,070 [Mrs. Mathews gasps] 354 00:22:12,105 --> 00:22:12,975 Hello, everybody. 355 00:22:13,010 --> 00:22:15,027 [laughs] And if you folks are ready, 356 00:22:15,063 --> 00:22:17,219 it will take you back to the station. 357 00:22:17,254 --> 00:22:19,585 Oh, you, sir, keep writing, please. Thank you. 358 00:22:25,012 --> 00:22:27,692 -Tommy, remember to brush your teeth every night. -Okay, Mom. 359 00:22:27,726 --> 00:22:29,257 -And no late school nights, you hear? -Okay. 360 00:22:29,293 --> 00:22:32,493 -And remember to change your underwear every day. -Oh, Mom! 361 00:22:32,528 --> 00:22:34,302 -Watch out, watch out. -Make a hole. Make a hole. 362 00:22:34,928 --> 00:22:35,868 Whoops. 363 00:22:35,902 --> 00:22:38,198 [GrossOut] Make another hole up there. 364 00:22:40,530 --> 00:22:43,348 Let me introduce you to Fred, our president. 365 00:22:43,383 --> 00:22:44,566 Do you know that he's been kicked out 366 00:22:44,601 --> 00:22:46,444 of some of the best schools in the country? 367 00:22:46,480 --> 00:22:48,636 [Fred] Come on, Tommy, I'll show you around. 368 00:22:48,671 --> 00:22:50,480 [laughing] 369 00:22:50,515 --> 00:22:53,646 Call once a week, son, and write when you can. 370 00:22:53,682 --> 00:22:56,847 Aw. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's really nothing to worry about, sir. Really. 371 00:22:56,882 --> 00:22:58,865 We've never lost one of them yet, you know? 372 00:22:58,900 --> 00:23:01,753 Well, just watch yourself here, Mrs. Mathews. Watch your head. 373 00:23:01,788 --> 00:23:03,631 [laughs] Come on, we haven't lost one yet. 374 00:23:03,667 --> 00:23:05,301 There you go. 375 00:23:05,336 --> 00:23:07,702 So, uh, where do the other pledges sleep? 376 00:23:07,737 --> 00:23:09,825 There are no other pledges. 377 00:23:09,859 --> 00:23:11,912 You mean I'm the only one? 378 00:23:11,947 --> 00:23:13,513 Yeah, well, consider it an honor. 379 00:23:13,547 --> 00:23:15,565 Pi Kaps don't pledge just anyone, you know? 380 00:23:15,600 --> 00:23:17,722 -[burps] -Think of all the attention you'll have. 381 00:23:17,757 --> 00:23:20,297 Excuse me, I gotta make a fundraising call. 382 00:23:20,331 --> 00:23:22,593 Uh, yeah, operator? How much is that? 383 00:23:22,628 --> 00:23:23,985 Eighty-five cents. 384 00:23:24,959 --> 00:23:26,803 Just a minute. I'll deposit. 385 00:23:31,151 --> 00:23:32,509 Yes, you're quite welcome. 386 00:23:32,961 --> 00:23:34,074 Have a nice trip. 387 00:23:35,013 --> 00:23:36,266 Ta-ta! 388 00:23:39,919 --> 00:23:40,963 [urinating] 389 00:23:40,998 --> 00:23:43,468 -Hi. -Hey! 390 00:23:43,503 --> 00:23:46,669 Gumbroski is the name, and drinking is my game. 391 00:23:46,703 --> 00:23:49,173 This here is Griselda. Say hi, Griselda. 392 00:23:49,209 --> 00:23:50,079 [Griselda] I love you. 393 00:23:50,113 --> 00:23:51,052 [GrossOut laughs] 394 00:23:51,088 --> 00:23:53,627 -Hello, Dad. Fred. -[speaking indistinctly] 395 00:23:53,662 --> 00:23:55,854 Fred. Fred, your son. 396 00:23:55,889 --> 00:23:58,046 You know what I like best about her? 397 00:23:58,080 --> 00:24:00,376 She don't tell, she don't swell, 398 00:24:00,412 --> 00:24:02,012 she is grateful as hell, 399 00:24:02,047 --> 00:24:03,613 she's disease-free, 400 00:24:03,647 --> 00:24:06,117 and best of all, she don't talk back. 401 00:24:06,152 --> 00:24:07,405 [Griselda] I love to please you. 402 00:24:07,440 --> 00:24:08,658 [GrossOut laughs] 403 00:24:08,692 --> 00:24:10,919 The point is, I'm really getting myself together, 404 00:24:10,954 --> 00:24:14,363 getting my, as they say around here, my shit together. 405 00:24:14,398 --> 00:24:16,138 You wanna have a go at her? 406 00:24:16,172 --> 00:24:18,747 Go ahead, you don't gotta worry about me being jealous. 407 00:24:18,781 --> 00:24:20,452 [Griselda] I love it. I love it. 408 00:24:20,486 --> 00:24:21,739 Make sure you give her a good scrubbing 409 00:24:21,774 --> 00:24:23,409 -when you're done with her, though. -Me? 410 00:24:23,444 --> 00:24:25,914 Yeah, you. Go ahead. Go right down the hall. They're... 411 00:24:25,949 --> 00:24:26,993 Griselda, right? 412 00:24:27,027 --> 00:24:29,046 Yeah. That's her name, Griselda. 413 00:24:29,080 --> 00:24:30,437 [Griselda] I love you. 414 00:24:33,742 --> 00:24:34,647 [burps] 415 00:24:36,178 --> 00:24:38,161 ♪ 416 00:25:09,786 --> 00:25:11,074 [laughing] 417 00:25:19,146 --> 00:25:20,607 [toilet flushing] 418 00:25:24,086 --> 00:25:25,860 [Kevin] Hey, hey. Listen to this. 419 00:25:25,895 --> 00:25:27,217 "Habitual bean-eating 420 00:25:27,252 --> 00:25:28,922 will multiply the normal production 421 00:25:28,957 --> 00:25:31,218 of intestinal gas several times. 422 00:25:31,253 --> 00:25:33,236 University of California, Berkeley 423 00:25:33,270 --> 00:25:34,906 found that raisins and apple juice 424 00:25:34,941 --> 00:25:36,297 doubled gas output. 425 00:25:36,333 --> 00:25:38,699 Bananas increased it by 50 percent, 426 00:25:38,733 --> 00:25:40,438 grape juice by 20 percent, 427 00:25:40,472 --> 00:25:43,708 and orange juice and apricot nectar, not at all. 428 00:25:43,743 --> 00:25:45,482 Flatus is..." 429 00:25:46,144 --> 00:25:47,710 Fart. 430 00:25:47,744 --> 00:25:49,519 "...is sometimes a sign of returning health 431 00:25:49,553 --> 00:25:53,346 and surgeons use its occurrence after surgery as a signal for recovery." 432 00:25:53,380 --> 00:25:54,598 [laughs] 433 00:25:54,633 --> 00:25:55,990 Listen to this one! 434 00:25:56,024 --> 00:25:58,460 "During electro surgery inside the colon, 435 00:25:58,494 --> 00:26:02,252 flammable intestinal gases have occasionally led to explosions, 436 00:26:02,287 --> 00:26:04,583 sometimes with fatal consequences." 437 00:26:04,618 --> 00:26:05,871 [all laughing] 438 00:26:07,158 --> 00:26:08,375 Are you ready? 439 00:26:09,419 --> 00:26:10,707 I'm ready. 440 00:26:12,133 --> 00:26:13,281 [farts] 441 00:26:15,230 --> 00:26:16,517 [exhales] 442 00:26:16,552 --> 00:26:17,874 How's that, guys, huh? 443 00:26:17,909 --> 00:26:19,718 Oh, shit, GrossOut. 444 00:26:19,752 --> 00:26:21,701 I've heard little kids do better than that. 445 00:26:21,735 --> 00:26:22,988 Yeah, if that's the best you can do, 446 00:26:23,023 --> 00:26:25,285 maybe we'd better forget the entrance fee, huh? 447 00:26:25,319 --> 00:26:27,302 Well, come on, guys. How about give me half a chance? 448 00:26:27,337 --> 00:26:29,042 This is a big opportunity for me. 449 00:26:29,077 --> 00:26:30,955 You never know. I might be able to make my living at it. 450 00:26:30,990 --> 00:26:33,217 [Fred] Well, then, you're gonna have to get with it. 451 00:26:33,252 --> 00:26:34,817 Now you drink this. 452 00:26:34,852 --> 00:26:36,383 [bubbling] 453 00:26:36,418 --> 00:26:38,401 Oh, God! 454 00:26:38,435 --> 00:26:40,384 What's in it, Chief? It-- Ugh. 455 00:26:40,419 --> 00:26:42,089 Smells like it got turds in it. 456 00:26:42,123 --> 00:26:43,724 What is it exactly, Chief? 457 00:26:43,758 --> 00:26:45,012 Hairy buffalo punch. 458 00:26:45,046 --> 00:26:46,821 Hairy buffalo, huh? 459 00:26:46,855 --> 00:26:49,952 Two sips, and you'll be getting to smell like one. 460 00:26:49,987 --> 00:26:51,030 Now drink it. 461 00:26:51,065 --> 00:26:52,387 Oh, no way! 462 00:26:52,422 --> 00:26:54,023 That stuff really work, Chief? 463 00:26:54,057 --> 00:26:56,215 Do white man shit on toilet? 464 00:26:56,249 --> 00:26:58,232 Down the hooch, GrossOut. 465 00:26:58,267 --> 00:27:01,468 Ugh! Man, you can die from that shit. 466 00:27:01,502 --> 00:27:04,321 Well, we got a hearse we could bury you in. 467 00:27:04,355 --> 00:27:05,295 [laughs] 468 00:27:05,330 --> 00:27:06,721 Okay, Jock. 469 00:27:06,756 --> 00:27:09,365 I'm sincerely sorry for what I'm gonna have to do now, GrossOut. 470 00:27:09,679 --> 00:27:10,827 No, no! 471 00:27:10,862 --> 00:27:12,288 Okay, Chief, pour it down. 472 00:27:12,775 --> 00:27:14,167 [groaning] 473 00:27:18,829 --> 00:27:20,430 [stomach rumbling] 474 00:27:20,812 --> 00:27:22,795 [grunting] 475 00:27:26,448 --> 00:27:27,736 [explosion] 476 00:27:30,276 --> 00:27:32,015 [crashing] 477 00:27:36,990 --> 00:27:38,452 I told you it works. 478 00:27:38,765 --> 00:27:39,738 [groans] 479 00:27:40,121 --> 00:27:41,861 [burps] 480 00:27:43,148 --> 00:27:44,400 [indistinct chattering] 481 00:27:44,436 --> 00:27:45,480 [Tommy] You see that, GrossOut? 482 00:27:45,514 --> 00:27:46,593 [Fred] I see it. 483 00:27:46,628 --> 00:27:48,507 Let me handle this. 484 00:27:49,759 --> 00:27:52,438 Oh, look who's on your left. 485 00:27:52,473 --> 00:27:54,177 -Hey, Nancy, girls. -Hey. 486 00:27:54,212 --> 00:27:56,195 I want you to meet Tommy, our new pledge. 487 00:27:56,230 --> 00:27:57,204 -Hi. -Hi. 488 00:27:57,239 --> 00:27:58,909 Say, maybe you girls would like to join us 489 00:27:58,944 --> 00:28:00,405 for a little quiet dinner tonight? 490 00:28:00,440 --> 00:28:03,606 Quiet dinner at the Pi Kap house? You're sick. [laughs] 491 00:28:03,640 --> 00:28:07,224 Oh, we'll go out. Sort of a celebration. 492 00:28:07,259 --> 00:28:08,581 What's the occasion? 493 00:28:08,616 --> 00:28:11,712 Pi Kaps are about to come into a large sum of money. 494 00:28:11,747 --> 00:28:13,382 -Hmm. -Come on, we'll spring for Chinese. 495 00:28:13,417 --> 00:28:14,705 What do you say? 496 00:28:14,739 --> 00:28:17,453 -Why not? -Okay! 497 00:28:17,488 --> 00:28:20,062 ♪ Chinese tonight 498 00:28:20,098 --> 00:28:22,602 ♪ Egg noodles makes it right 499 00:28:22,637 --> 00:28:24,029 ♪ Just hold my hand 500 00:28:25,455 --> 00:28:26,777 [gong chiming] 501 00:28:27,334 --> 00:28:29,526 [oriental music playing] 502 00:28:32,970 --> 00:28:35,336 [indistinct chattering] 503 00:28:35,371 --> 00:28:37,667 [laughing] 504 00:28:44,729 --> 00:28:46,052 Mmm. 505 00:28:48,487 --> 00:28:50,645 Ooh, broccoli. Mmm. 506 00:28:55,307 --> 00:28:56,663 Fish. [chuckles] 507 00:28:57,254 --> 00:28:59,656 Mmm. Mmm. 508 00:29:00,038 --> 00:29:01,986 Mmm. Mmm. 509 00:29:03,343 --> 00:29:05,987 Mmm. Mmm. 510 00:29:06,892 --> 00:29:07,936 Mmm. 511 00:29:12,702 --> 00:29:13,642 [blows nose] 512 00:29:19,974 --> 00:29:21,087 [burping] 513 00:29:25,854 --> 00:29:26,758 [spits] 514 00:29:32,638 --> 00:29:35,421 Well, here's one for you. 515 00:29:37,439 --> 00:29:39,144 And another one for you. 516 00:29:41,128 --> 00:29:43,771 Uh, I think I've had enough, GrossOut. 517 00:29:44,641 --> 00:29:45,754 "Enough"? 518 00:29:45,789 --> 00:29:48,955 A Pi Kap never [burps] has enough. 519 00:29:48,990 --> 00:29:49,720 Drink it. 520 00:29:49,756 --> 00:29:52,295 Well, I would if I could, 521 00:29:52,330 --> 00:29:53,757 but I can't. 522 00:29:56,053 --> 00:29:58,453 Come on, it's time for our first lesson. 523 00:30:02,281 --> 00:30:03,776 [woman yelling in Chinese] 524 00:30:03,812 --> 00:30:06,699 You gotta put away the sentiment, man. You gotta drink the brew. 525 00:30:06,733 --> 00:30:09,343 -At least a half a case a night. -Half a case? 526 00:30:09,378 --> 00:30:12,336 Minimum half a case. Hey, it ain't no sweat. 527 00:30:12,370 --> 00:30:13,797 I had to start someplace. 528 00:30:13,831 --> 00:30:15,257 Look, I didn't know how to do it 529 00:30:15,293 --> 00:30:17,102 till I learned the Pi Kappa secret. 530 00:30:17,136 --> 00:30:18,250 The secret? 531 00:30:18,284 --> 00:30:20,059 Yes, secret. Look, I've taught the best of them, 532 00:30:20,094 --> 00:30:21,555 and I've taught the worst of them. 533 00:30:21,590 --> 00:30:23,365 You know that asshole Fred? 534 00:30:23,399 --> 00:30:26,252 Well, he couldn't drink a banana daiquiri before I showed him the trick. 535 00:30:26,287 --> 00:30:27,296 "The trick"? 536 00:30:27,331 --> 00:30:30,010 The trick, the secret, it's all the same. 537 00:30:30,044 --> 00:30:31,783 It comes out the same anyhow. 538 00:30:31,819 --> 00:30:32,793 [burps] 539 00:30:33,662 --> 00:30:36,237 -You see this finger? -Yeah. 540 00:30:36,272 --> 00:30:38,603 -Just a finger, huh? -Yeah, just a finger. 541 00:30:38,638 --> 00:30:41,351 -Notice anything about this finger? -No. 542 00:30:41,387 --> 00:30:42,778 Well, watch this. 543 00:30:43,404 --> 00:30:44,831 [gagging] 544 00:30:46,605 --> 00:30:47,579 [vomiting] 545 00:30:51,163 --> 00:30:53,111 [man speaking in Chinese] 546 00:30:54,781 --> 00:30:56,382 That's what you call... 547 00:30:56,973 --> 00:30:58,295 [coughs and burps] 548 00:30:58,330 --> 00:31:01,705 ...the Class III recycled Lee Wong special. 549 00:31:01,739 --> 00:31:02,644 [spits] 550 00:31:03,757 --> 00:31:06,019 [coughs] Now I'm set for the night. 551 00:31:06,054 --> 00:31:08,454 The secret to drinking is puking? 552 00:31:08,489 --> 00:31:10,716 Shh! Not so loud. 553 00:31:10,750 --> 00:31:11,690 God. 554 00:31:11,724 --> 00:31:13,151 [woman speaking in Chinese] 555 00:31:15,204 --> 00:31:16,735 Go ahead, you do it. 556 00:31:20,735 --> 00:31:21,919 [gagging] 557 00:31:24,145 --> 00:31:25,329 Aw, hold it. 558 00:31:25,363 --> 00:31:27,242 Just wait a minute. That ain't right. 559 00:31:27,276 --> 00:31:31,104 Look, I don't wanna have to show you this again, so watch carefully this time. 560 00:31:33,679 --> 00:31:35,279 [gagging] 561 00:31:35,766 --> 00:31:37,227 [vomiting] 562 00:31:43,733 --> 00:31:45,230 Go ahead, you try it. 563 00:31:45,821 --> 00:31:47,039 [man] Okay. 564 00:31:49,474 --> 00:31:51,597 [gagging and coughing] 565 00:31:53,440 --> 00:31:55,702 I'm sorry, GrossOut, I just can't do it. 566 00:31:57,476 --> 00:31:59,076 It's okay, Tommy. 567 00:31:59,111 --> 00:32:00,955 Come here. I wanna talk to you. 568 00:32:02,243 --> 00:32:03,703 [gagging] 569 00:32:03,739 --> 00:32:05,026 [vomiting] 570 00:32:05,999 --> 00:32:07,496 [coughing] 571 00:32:08,539 --> 00:32:09,827 [panting] 572 00:32:11,845 --> 00:32:15,499 Anybody can do it. You just gotta want to. 573 00:32:18,177 --> 00:32:20,403 Come on, kid, let's go. 574 00:32:20,439 --> 00:32:22,421 You did it, just like a trooper. 575 00:32:22,457 --> 00:32:23,849 [laughs] 576 00:32:26,075 --> 00:32:27,571 [clears throat] 577 00:32:28,823 --> 00:32:30,563 Would you like to take care of this? 578 00:32:51,612 --> 00:32:52,725 [grunting] 579 00:32:56,830 --> 00:32:57,804 [woman squeals] 580 00:33:04,485 --> 00:33:06,711 [Fred] Oh, my God! It's happening again! 581 00:33:06,747 --> 00:33:09,774 Oh, Tommy, we gotta get him to a hospital. Poor guy. 582 00:33:09,808 --> 00:33:12,383 I told him not to eat... Oh, Jesus Christ! 583 00:33:12,417 --> 00:33:15,305 Hurry. He's not gonna make it this time. 584 00:33:15,862 --> 00:33:17,080 Oh, Jesus. 585 00:33:19,585 --> 00:33:21,115 [men laughing] 586 00:33:22,924 --> 00:33:25,777 That was terrific. How'd you learn how to do that? 587 00:33:25,813 --> 00:33:26,786 Talent. 588 00:33:26,821 --> 00:33:30,022 It's just talent, my friend. 589 00:33:30,056 --> 00:33:33,988 Did you see that cook's face when I was rolling around on the floor? 590 00:33:34,023 --> 00:33:35,241 [in Chinese accent] "Oh, hey, big boy, 591 00:33:35,275 --> 00:33:37,084 what you doing down there on the floor, huh?" 592 00:33:37,815 --> 00:33:38,859 [vomits] 593 00:33:38,893 --> 00:33:39,937 Oh, shit! 594 00:33:39,973 --> 00:33:43,104 Oh, no, puke! That's yuck! 595 00:33:47,453 --> 00:33:49,262 [indistinct chattering] 596 00:33:56,012 --> 00:33:57,681 Kevin, Kevin, where's the Chief? 597 00:33:57,716 --> 00:33:59,456 Don't worry about it. He'll be here. 598 00:33:59,490 --> 00:34:03,178 That stuff has to be prepared at the last minute in order for it to work. 599 00:34:03,214 --> 00:34:04,640 Any competition? 600 00:34:04,674 --> 00:34:06,623 Hell, no. There's a bunch of candy-asses down there. 601 00:34:06,658 --> 00:34:07,667 Are you boys ready? 602 00:34:07,701 --> 00:34:09,650 -Which one of you is the contestant? -Me. 603 00:34:09,685 --> 00:34:12,016 I should have known. You have such a big bum. 604 00:34:12,051 --> 00:34:13,477 Please, don't be nervous, 605 00:34:13,511 --> 00:34:14,799 because if you're nervous, you can't get a good fart. 606 00:34:14,834 --> 00:34:16,782 Be calm. Calm. That's the main thing. 607 00:34:18,383 --> 00:34:20,470 -[cheering] -[fanfare playing] 608 00:34:20,505 --> 00:34:22,210 I'm on! I'm on! 609 00:34:22,731 --> 00:34:24,818 [audience cheering] 610 00:34:28,785 --> 00:34:30,734 Simmer down. Simmer down, please, please. 611 00:34:30,768 --> 00:34:34,526 Shh! Folks, simmer down. This is it, the main event. 612 00:34:34,561 --> 00:34:38,283 Welcome to our first annual Daily Crock Benefit Fart Contest, 613 00:34:38,318 --> 00:34:39,571 you beautiful people. 614 00:34:41,032 --> 00:34:43,572 Now, before we start, let me ask you all a question. 615 00:34:43,606 --> 00:34:45,138 Anybody know what a fart is? 616 00:34:45,172 --> 00:34:46,146 Nobody. 617 00:34:46,182 --> 00:34:47,503 A fart is the sharpest thing in the world. 618 00:34:47,538 --> 00:34:50,043 Goes right through the pants without leaving a hole. 619 00:34:50,078 --> 00:34:51,539 Huh, it stinks. What can we do? 620 00:34:51,573 --> 00:34:53,731 [all groaning] 621 00:34:53,765 --> 00:34:55,053 -And now-- -[motorcycle revving] 622 00:34:59,158 --> 00:35:00,620 [audience cheering] 623 00:35:07,612 --> 00:35:10,988 Holy shit! Do you know who that is? 624 00:35:11,022 --> 00:35:11,787 Who? 625 00:35:11,823 --> 00:35:14,363 That's Bucky Zackabreski, man. 626 00:35:14,397 --> 00:35:18,398 -The Bucky Zackabreski? -The Bucky Zackabreski. Yeah. 627 00:35:18,433 --> 00:35:21,077 The Bucky Zackabreski you told me about? 628 00:35:21,112 --> 00:35:24,104 The same Bucky Zackabreski that used to go out 629 00:35:24,139 --> 00:35:27,375 with a certain J.J. "GrossOut" Gumbroski at high school? 630 00:35:27,409 --> 00:35:30,540 The same. The grossest of the gross, man. 631 00:35:30,575 --> 00:35:33,602 [laughs] Yeah, well, she doesn't look so bad to me. 632 00:35:33,637 --> 00:35:35,689 Oh, wait till you smell her farts. 633 00:35:35,725 --> 00:35:36,873 [audience cheering] 634 00:35:42,404 --> 00:35:45,153 Hey, J.J. I heard you was entered. 635 00:35:45,187 --> 00:35:47,971 I've come to do battle with you. Just like old times, huh? 636 00:35:48,006 --> 00:35:51,137 Don't call me J.J., and don't think you'd get me in the toilet again either. 637 00:35:51,172 --> 00:35:53,990 Oh, J.J., it's been a long time. 638 00:35:54,025 --> 00:35:57,295 You're lookin' good as ever. You lost some of that baby fat. 639 00:35:57,330 --> 00:35:58,826 But now you're into new things. 640 00:35:58,861 --> 00:36:01,296 Looks like I got some stiff competition. 641 00:36:01,332 --> 00:36:05,228 But just remember, I taught you everything you know. 642 00:36:05,263 --> 00:36:07,142 Ugh! [spits] 643 00:36:07,176 --> 00:36:11,143 Oh, just like that piggy I went out in high school. 644 00:36:11,177 --> 00:36:12,465 See you later. 645 00:36:15,874 --> 00:36:17,753 [laughs] 646 00:36:17,788 --> 00:36:21,789 Sure, I can understand that you'd wanna treasure your virginity, Joan, 647 00:36:21,824 --> 00:36:24,120 but I treasure mine too. 648 00:36:24,154 --> 00:36:28,538 It's just that if you keep it buried too deep, you may never find it. 649 00:36:28,573 --> 00:36:30,069 I don't know, Tommy. 650 00:36:30,104 --> 00:36:31,983 [fanfare playing] 651 00:36:32,018 --> 00:36:35,497 Quiet, please. Quiet. Calm down. Calm down. We're about to start. 652 00:36:35,531 --> 00:36:36,541 [laughing] 653 00:36:36,575 --> 00:36:39,324 Our contestants are all primed and ready to go. 654 00:36:39,358 --> 00:36:41,690 Points will be awarded on the basis of loudness, 655 00:36:41,724 --> 00:36:44,473 and each contestant gets three chances to perform, 656 00:36:44,508 --> 00:36:45,969 and the total points scored 657 00:36:46,003 --> 00:36:47,813 will determine his or her final standing. 658 00:36:47,848 --> 00:36:51,222 Now, each contestant must break wind within 20 seconds. 659 00:36:51,258 --> 00:36:53,762 Anyone drawing mud will be disqualified. 660 00:36:53,797 --> 00:36:56,929 Ladies and gentlemen, may the best asshole win. 661 00:36:56,963 --> 00:36:58,564 -[audience cheering] -[fanfare playing] 662 00:37:07,644 --> 00:37:10,219 Let me explain to you how this fartometer works. 663 00:37:10,254 --> 00:37:14,359 It was created by some of the brilliantest minds in the history of fartology. 664 00:37:14,394 --> 00:37:15,611 Now, the first level. 665 00:37:15,647 --> 00:37:16,586 [fartometer beeping] 666 00:37:16,620 --> 00:37:18,081 Hold your nose. 667 00:37:18,812 --> 00:37:20,517 The second level. Phew! 668 00:37:20,552 --> 00:37:21,561 [fartometer beeping faster] 669 00:37:21,595 --> 00:37:22,813 The third level. A stink. 670 00:37:22,849 --> 00:37:24,344 [fartometer beeping rapidly] 671 00:37:24,379 --> 00:37:26,397 -The fourth level. Check your pulse. -[fartometer blaring] 672 00:37:26,431 --> 00:37:27,963 Now let's get started! 673 00:37:28,624 --> 00:37:30,572 [cheering] 674 00:37:30,606 --> 00:37:33,495 From the Yellowstream College School of Proctology, 675 00:37:33,529 --> 00:37:35,408 known as "The Amazing Anus," 676 00:37:35,442 --> 00:37:37,808 Ira "Hemorrhoid" Cooperstein! 677 00:37:37,844 --> 00:37:40,348 -[fanfare playing] -[audience cheering] 678 00:37:46,855 --> 00:37:48,386 [farts softly] 679 00:37:48,420 --> 00:37:49,290 [beeps] 680 00:37:49,325 --> 00:37:50,682 A flubber! A flubber! 681 00:37:50,716 --> 00:37:51,587 [audience murmuring] 682 00:37:53,292 --> 00:37:54,891 Good for only one point. 683 00:37:54,927 --> 00:37:56,422 [fanfare playing] 684 00:37:59,867 --> 00:38:01,746 -Kevin. -Huh? What? 685 00:38:01,780 --> 00:38:03,033 -I wanna know something. -What? 686 00:38:03,068 --> 00:38:04,633 How come if this is a fart contest, 687 00:38:04,668 --> 00:38:06,755 you keep rubbing my shoulders? 688 00:38:06,790 --> 00:38:08,217 All right, all right, all right. 689 00:38:08,251 --> 00:38:11,591 Stay loose, GrossOut, stay loose. Concentrate. 690 00:38:11,627 --> 00:38:15,209 And there she is, Miss Baked Beans of 1979. 691 00:38:15,245 --> 00:38:18,132 Our beautiful lady. A nice round of applause. 692 00:38:18,167 --> 00:38:19,558 -[audience applauding] -Yes, sir. 693 00:38:20,324 --> 00:38:21,994 Yes, sir! 694 00:38:22,029 --> 00:38:23,665 [audience cheering] 695 00:38:24,360 --> 00:38:25,752 Position, please. 696 00:38:27,944 --> 00:38:28,918 Ooh. 697 00:38:29,475 --> 00:38:31,875 [audience whistling] 698 00:38:31,909 --> 00:38:33,337 Please, let her concentrate. 699 00:38:33,371 --> 00:38:34,415 [chuckles] 700 00:38:34,449 --> 00:38:35,459 Oh, dear. 701 00:38:35,493 --> 00:38:36,258 [farts] 702 00:38:36,294 --> 00:38:38,103 [fartometer beeping] 703 00:38:38,137 --> 00:38:39,599 [audience cheering] 704 00:38:40,155 --> 00:38:41,477 [fanfare playing] 705 00:38:45,757 --> 00:38:48,645 And now from Pete's Super 60 gas station, 706 00:38:48,679 --> 00:38:51,568 Frankie "Fartwell" Modjulario. 707 00:38:51,602 --> 00:38:53,307 -[fanfare playing] -[audience cheering] 708 00:38:58,664 --> 00:39:02,701 He looks like a humdinger. This boy looks like a real winner. Yes, yes. 709 00:39:02,735 --> 00:39:04,197 [audience cheering] 710 00:39:05,171 --> 00:39:06,527 [Frankie grunting] 711 00:39:12,686 --> 00:39:13,973 What's the matter, Frank? 712 00:39:14,495 --> 00:39:15,574 Stage fright. 713 00:39:15,608 --> 00:39:17,243 You know you made an ass of yourself? 714 00:39:17,940 --> 00:39:19,853 [audience booing] 715 00:39:19,888 --> 00:39:21,175 [mutters indistinctly] 716 00:39:23,053 --> 00:39:24,619 [male host] Next. Who we got next? 717 00:39:24,654 --> 00:39:27,368 Miss Bucky Zackabreski! 718 00:39:27,402 --> 00:39:28,620 Oh, yes! 719 00:39:28,656 --> 00:39:30,359 -[fanfare playing] -[audience cheering] 720 00:39:35,091 --> 00:39:37,179 Ooh, she's a beauty. 721 00:39:37,214 --> 00:39:38,327 Position, please. 722 00:39:39,058 --> 00:39:41,250 Hmm. 723 00:39:41,285 --> 00:39:43,094 -[farts] -[fartometer beeping rapidly] 724 00:39:43,128 --> 00:39:45,216 And ace! An atomic ace! 725 00:39:45,250 --> 00:39:46,642 [all cheering] 726 00:39:46,677 --> 00:39:48,347 [fanfare playing] 727 00:39:55,445 --> 00:39:56,663 Chief, where have you been? 728 00:39:56,697 --> 00:39:59,237 -You got the stuff? -Of course I got. 729 00:39:59,272 --> 00:40:01,395 I go prepare now. 730 00:40:01,429 --> 00:40:05,534 And now, the contestant you've all been waiting for, the pride of Pi Kap frat. 731 00:40:05,570 --> 00:40:10,753 Last but not least, the inimitable J.J. "GrossOut" Gumbroski! 732 00:40:10,788 --> 00:40:14,163 -[fanfare playing] -[audience cheering] 733 00:40:20,599 --> 00:40:23,696 He looks like a champ to me. Position, please. 734 00:40:23,731 --> 00:40:25,714 [audience chanting] GrossOut! GrossOut! 735 00:40:25,748 --> 00:40:29,332 GrossOut! GrossOut! GrossOut! GrossOut! 736 00:40:29,366 --> 00:40:30,933 [farts] 737 00:40:30,967 --> 00:40:32,498 [chanting continues] 738 00:40:32,533 --> 00:40:34,585 -[fartometer blaring] -[male host] And ace! An atomic ace! 739 00:40:34,621 --> 00:40:36,081 [all cheering] 740 00:40:36,117 --> 00:40:38,552 Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful! 741 00:40:38,587 --> 00:40:40,709 -[fanfare playing] -[audience cheering] 742 00:40:43,700 --> 00:40:45,475 ♪ 743 00:40:53,408 --> 00:40:54,835 [audience applauding] 744 00:40:59,184 --> 00:41:00,332 [audience cheering] 745 00:41:14,039 --> 00:41:15,291 [audience cheering] 746 00:41:18,144 --> 00:41:22,041 ♪ King Frat, King Frat 747 00:41:22,076 --> 00:41:24,755 ♪ Place is never boring Everybody's exploring ♪ 748 00:41:24,789 --> 00:41:28,652 ♪ Something's always brewing Come, hear what they're doing ♪ 749 00:41:29,243 --> 00:41:30,879 [fartometer blaring] 750 00:41:30,913 --> 00:41:32,374 [audience cheering] 751 00:41:37,593 --> 00:41:39,055 [rumbling] 752 00:41:39,507 --> 00:41:40,828 [explosion] 753 00:41:42,464 --> 00:41:43,751 [howling] 754 00:41:51,544 --> 00:41:53,180 [audience cheering] 755 00:41:57,146 --> 00:41:59,060 ♪ King Frat, King Frat 756 00:41:59,095 --> 00:42:00,487 [fartometer beeping rapidly] 757 00:42:00,521 --> 00:42:03,408 ♪ Without a reputation Constant recreation ♪ 758 00:42:03,444 --> 00:42:06,645 ♪ King Frat, King Frat 759 00:42:06,679 --> 00:42:09,985 ♪ See who comes the closest Trying to be the grossest ♪ 760 00:42:10,019 --> 00:42:12,942 ♪ Always misbehaving Everybody's waving ♪ 761 00:42:12,976 --> 00:42:16,212 ♪ King Frat, King Frat 762 00:42:16,247 --> 00:42:17,812 [all groaning in disgust] 763 00:42:17,848 --> 00:42:19,378 [coughing] 764 00:42:21,536 --> 00:42:23,518 [belches and groans] 765 00:42:23,553 --> 00:42:25,537 Oh, we're fucked, Kevin. 766 00:42:25,571 --> 00:42:27,693 Not so fast. 767 00:42:27,728 --> 00:42:29,920 Look, I got a little gadget here 768 00:42:29,955 --> 00:42:31,590 for just such an emergency. 769 00:42:31,625 --> 00:42:34,548 Look, I bought this off from a guy from the physics lab for five bucks. 770 00:42:34,582 --> 00:42:35,974 It's an insurance policy. 771 00:42:36,009 --> 00:42:37,852 Now, he said it would amplify the sound 772 00:42:37,888 --> 00:42:39,453 by at least 20 percent, guaranteed. 773 00:42:39,488 --> 00:42:41,540 [chuckles] Just stick it in. 774 00:42:43,559 --> 00:42:44,881 "Stick it in"? 775 00:42:47,560 --> 00:42:48,882 [both] Stick it in. 776 00:42:48,916 --> 00:42:50,030 [fanfare playing] 777 00:42:55,179 --> 00:42:55,944 [farts] 778 00:42:55,980 --> 00:42:57,406 -[fartometer buzzing] -A four. 779 00:42:57,440 --> 00:42:58,623 A lousy four. 780 00:42:58,658 --> 00:43:00,223 Let's give her a nice hand there, folks. Come on. 781 00:43:00,259 --> 00:43:01,441 This thing don't feel right. 782 00:43:01,476 --> 00:43:02,902 Why? What's wrong? 783 00:43:02,938 --> 00:43:04,885 It feels like it's slipping or something. 784 00:43:04,921 --> 00:43:07,530 [male host] Next! Who we got next out there? Who's next? 785 00:43:07,565 --> 00:43:09,722 Everyone's waiting. It'll be all right. 786 00:43:11,426 --> 00:43:14,523 Ah, yes! J.J. "GrossOut" Gumbroski! 787 00:43:14,558 --> 00:43:16,019 How about it? 788 00:43:16,054 --> 00:43:17,585 [audience cheering] 789 00:43:18,350 --> 00:43:19,708 Quiet, please. Folks, quiet. 790 00:43:19,742 --> 00:43:21,447 This is the moment you've all been waiting for. 791 00:43:21,481 --> 00:43:22,629 Please. 792 00:43:22,665 --> 00:43:23,917 Are you ready? 793 00:43:24,612 --> 00:43:25,900 Position, please. 794 00:43:25,935 --> 00:43:28,196 [audience chanting] Fart, fart, fart! 795 00:43:28,649 --> 00:43:29,693 [farts] 796 00:43:29,727 --> 00:43:30,806 [fartometer buzzing] 797 00:43:30,841 --> 00:43:32,023 [defecating] 798 00:43:32,058 --> 00:43:33,832 Gumbroski has drawn mud. 799 00:43:33,868 --> 00:43:36,059 [all groaning] 800 00:43:36,094 --> 00:43:39,503 Ladies and gentlemen, the winner and new champion, 801 00:43:39,539 --> 00:43:41,661 Bucky Zackabreski! 802 00:43:41,695 --> 00:43:44,097 Oh, you won the contest for me, didn't you, J.J.? 803 00:43:44,131 --> 00:43:46,323 You still love me, don't you, darling? 804 00:43:46,357 --> 00:43:47,679 [indistinct muttering] 805 00:43:47,715 --> 00:43:49,037 [groaning] 806 00:43:54,951 --> 00:43:56,517 [Percy] I don't trust them, Dean. 807 00:43:56,552 --> 00:43:58,709 [Dean Doyle] You don't have to trust them, Percy. 808 00:43:58,743 --> 00:44:01,735 All you have to do is keep your eyes on them. 809 00:44:01,770 --> 00:44:04,449 Surveillance, that's the key. 810 00:44:04,484 --> 00:44:07,720 As long as you know what they're doing, they can't surprise you. 811 00:44:07,755 --> 00:44:09,147 All right. 812 00:44:09,181 --> 00:44:12,591 Those Pi Kaps can't go to the bathroom 813 00:44:12,625 --> 00:44:13,947 without me knowing about it. 814 00:44:13,983 --> 00:44:15,896 So when they make their next movement, 815 00:44:15,930 --> 00:44:17,601 you'll be ready and waiting, right? 816 00:44:17,635 --> 00:44:19,584 Wrong, Percy. 817 00:44:19,618 --> 00:44:22,471 You'll be ready and waiting for 'em. 818 00:44:22,506 --> 00:44:24,420 As soon as the selection committee meets 819 00:44:24,455 --> 00:44:26,751 to choose the next president of Yellowstream, 820 00:44:26,786 --> 00:44:31,657 I expect to be moving out of this office and into a larger one. 821 00:44:31,691 --> 00:44:34,579 I've worked long and hard for this. 822 00:44:34,614 --> 00:44:36,249 I'm the logical choice. 823 00:44:36,284 --> 00:44:40,181 They can't deny me. I've brought this college under control. 824 00:44:40,215 --> 00:44:42,303 I've made everybody toe the line. 825 00:44:42,337 --> 00:44:43,938 All except the Pi Kaps. 826 00:44:44,494 --> 00:44:46,373 The Pi Kaps! 827 00:44:46,408 --> 00:44:48,531 That was McGafferty's fault. 828 00:44:48,565 --> 00:44:51,558 He wouldn't let me bear down. 829 00:44:51,592 --> 00:44:56,115 Well, now there's nothing standing between me and those guys. Nothing! 830 00:44:56,150 --> 00:44:57,298 [chuckles softly] 831 00:44:57,332 --> 00:44:58,898 They're finished. 832 00:44:58,933 --> 00:45:00,812 They just don't know it yet. 833 00:45:01,369 --> 00:45:02,656 [both laughing] 834 00:45:08,675 --> 00:45:10,275 ["Standing at the Crossroads" playing] 835 00:45:11,423 --> 00:45:12,537 [woman screaming] 836 00:45:12,571 --> 00:45:14,659 Get your hands off my ass! 837 00:45:16,885 --> 00:45:20,122 ♪ When I was So much younger ♪ 838 00:45:20,156 --> 00:45:23,566 ♪ Didn't know How to care ♪ 839 00:45:23,600 --> 00:45:27,741 ♪ I was so fast and free 840 00:45:27,775 --> 00:45:30,628 ♪ I was unaware 841 00:45:31,255 --> 00:45:34,734 ♪ Seen it on my own 842 00:45:34,769 --> 00:45:37,656 ♪ Somehow I turned out great ♪ 843 00:45:39,082 --> 00:45:40,753 Yeah, but it wasn't too long. 844 00:45:40,787 --> 00:45:43,189 Ooh, you already got a beer, huh? Good music. 845 00:45:45,902 --> 00:45:47,398 ♪ Crossroads 846 00:45:48,476 --> 00:45:50,982 ♪ Now I'm at The crossroads ♪ 847 00:45:51,016 --> 00:45:52,825 ♪ Of my life 848 00:45:52,861 --> 00:45:55,956 [Dean Doyle] They're a mean, rotten bunch, Percy. 849 00:45:55,992 --> 00:45:57,105 Watch your step. 850 00:45:57,140 --> 00:45:58,531 [Percy] 10-14. 851 00:45:59,158 --> 00:46:00,584 [armor rattling] 852 00:46:05,037 --> 00:46:06,534 [man yelling] 853 00:46:09,178 --> 00:46:10,673 [laughing] 854 00:46:14,605 --> 00:46:16,380 Hey, man. I like your helmet. 855 00:46:20,624 --> 00:46:21,912 [Dean Doyle] Percy, what happened? 856 00:46:21,946 --> 00:46:23,408 What the hell is going on? 857 00:46:24,452 --> 00:46:26,678 I think they like my costume. 858 00:46:26,712 --> 00:46:28,348 Well, don't sit on your ass, Percy. 859 00:46:28,383 --> 00:46:29,775 Get up and go inside. 860 00:46:31,166 --> 00:46:33,463 ♪ Now I'm at The crossroads ♪ 861 00:46:33,497 --> 00:46:35,062 ♪ Of my life 862 00:46:36,280 --> 00:46:37,811 ♪ Crossroads 863 00:46:39,064 --> 00:46:41,465 ♪ Standing at The crossroads ♪ 864 00:46:41,499 --> 00:46:43,274 ♪ Of my life 865 00:46:47,483 --> 00:46:49,745 [Dean Doyle] Percy, what do you see now? 866 00:46:49,779 --> 00:46:50,963 [indistinct chattering] 867 00:46:57,399 --> 00:46:59,869 [Percy] I see a gorilla dancing with a girl, Dean. 868 00:47:01,052 --> 00:47:04,497 And I see a campus cop without a job. 869 00:47:04,531 --> 00:47:05,888 Cut the crap, Percy. 870 00:47:05,923 --> 00:47:07,419 Get on with it! 871 00:47:07,454 --> 00:47:08,567 Yes, Sir Dean. 872 00:47:08,602 --> 00:47:11,351 ♪ I'm at the crossroads Of my life ♪ 873 00:47:11,385 --> 00:47:14,169 ♪ Crossroads 874 00:47:14,203 --> 00:47:16,918 ♪ Now I'm at The crossroads ♪ 875 00:47:16,952 --> 00:47:18,204 ♪ Of my life 876 00:47:19,492 --> 00:47:21,197 ♪ Crossroads 877 00:47:22,205 --> 00:47:24,711 ♪ Standing at The crossroads ♪ 878 00:47:24,745 --> 00:47:26,450 ♪ Of my life 879 00:47:27,354 --> 00:47:30,381 ♪ If you're feeling down 880 00:47:30,417 --> 00:47:34,487 ♪ And confused on Which way to go ♪ 881 00:47:34,522 --> 00:47:37,619 ♪ Lost and at The crossroads ♪ 882 00:47:37,653 --> 00:47:41,480 ♪ 'Cause that keeps you Feeling alive ♪ 883 00:47:41,515 --> 00:47:44,298 ♪ And you might want It out with me ♪ 884 00:47:52,892 --> 00:47:54,666 ♪ Crossroads 885 00:47:55,919 --> 00:47:58,215 ♪ Now I'm at The crossroads ♪ 886 00:47:58,250 --> 00:48:00,337 ♪ Of my life 887 00:48:01,102 --> 00:48:02,807 ♪ Crossroads 888 00:48:04,234 --> 00:48:06,461 ♪ Standing at The crossroads ♪ 889 00:48:06,495 --> 00:48:08,130 ♪ Of my life 890 00:48:10,496 --> 00:48:12,584 Want a sip of beer, Griselda? 891 00:48:12,619 --> 00:48:15,158 J.J. J.J., where have you been? 892 00:48:15,194 --> 00:48:17,003 Do you know how long I've been looking for you? 893 00:48:17,037 --> 00:48:18,394 No, how long? 894 00:48:18,429 --> 00:48:20,099 Oh, J.J., come on. 895 00:48:20,134 --> 00:48:22,360 We've had our bad times, sure we have, 896 00:48:22,396 --> 00:48:24,935 but I'm not a woman who holds grudges. 897 00:48:24,970 --> 00:48:26,988 I'm willing to forgive and forget. 898 00:48:27,022 --> 00:48:28,414 How about it, huh? 899 00:48:28,449 --> 00:48:30,258 You think we should be talking like this in front of Griselda? 900 00:48:30,293 --> 00:48:33,250 Griselda? You mean that balloon? 901 00:48:34,642 --> 00:48:37,251 -Kevin! -Hi, Margie. 902 00:48:37,286 --> 00:48:38,469 What did you come as? 903 00:48:38,503 --> 00:48:40,070 Lady Godiva. 904 00:48:42,400 --> 00:48:44,245 Good likeness. 905 00:48:44,279 --> 00:48:46,715 Oh, J.J., give me another chance. 906 00:48:46,749 --> 00:48:48,454 You won't be sorry. 907 00:48:49,011 --> 00:48:50,854 Oh, yes, I will. 908 00:48:50,890 --> 00:48:52,142 [groans] 909 00:48:52,176 --> 00:48:54,125 Look, I gotta go take a dump. 910 00:48:54,160 --> 00:48:55,830 You sit here, don't get up, 911 00:48:55,865 --> 00:48:59,136 don't move, don't do nothing. 912 00:49:00,005 --> 00:49:02,093 [Middle Eastern music playing] 913 00:49:21,437 --> 00:49:22,759 Hey, you want a piece? 914 00:49:23,699 --> 00:49:25,125 You got a piece. 915 00:49:26,238 --> 00:49:27,387 [both moaning] 916 00:49:28,465 --> 00:49:30,482 ♪ 917 00:49:38,380 --> 00:49:40,189 Oh, damn, Bucky! 918 00:49:40,225 --> 00:49:43,808 You don't even let a guy take a good dump without following him around. 919 00:49:43,843 --> 00:49:46,870 Oh, J.J., it's just like old times, isn't it? 920 00:49:46,904 --> 00:49:50,279 It was the only time to get you away from that humanoid balloon. 921 00:49:50,314 --> 00:49:51,392 Oh, shit! 922 00:49:51,427 --> 00:49:54,385 Ooh, I love it when you speak French to me. 923 00:49:54,419 --> 00:49:55,463 [groaning] 924 00:49:56,506 --> 00:49:57,550 [defecates] 925 00:50:06,561 --> 00:50:11,189 Long time ago, my people, the Kissawong, 926 00:50:11,223 --> 00:50:14,007 lived on this very land. 927 00:50:14,042 --> 00:50:17,974 [Chief] Hunted the forests and fished the streams. 928 00:50:18,878 --> 00:50:20,618 Then the white man came. 929 00:50:20,652 --> 00:50:23,331 The white man came and drove my people up-- 930 00:50:23,366 --> 00:50:24,409 Let's do it. Come on. 931 00:50:24,445 --> 00:50:26,462 Now? In the middle of the party? 932 00:50:26,497 --> 00:50:28,550 Yeah, now. 933 00:50:28,584 --> 00:50:30,429 I gotta tell you, this is gonna be on my ass. 934 00:50:30,463 --> 00:50:31,647 Come on, come on. 935 00:50:32,204 --> 00:50:33,873 [music continues] 936 00:51:08,421 --> 00:51:09,535 [GrossOut] Damn it. 937 00:51:29,818 --> 00:51:31,209 [GrossOut] Damn it. 938 00:51:40,534 --> 00:51:41,508 Shh. 939 00:52:07,219 --> 00:52:08,994 [yells] 940 00:52:09,029 --> 00:52:10,907 I'll take the ball, place it into my hand, 941 00:52:10,942 --> 00:52:13,342 take this ball, place it into your hand, and close it tight. 942 00:52:13,378 --> 00:52:15,639 There's a ball in my hand, a ball in your hand, 943 00:52:15,674 --> 00:52:17,170 and a wand and a pocket watch. 944 00:52:17,204 --> 00:52:19,814 One, two, three, mine's gone. Open up your hand. 945 00:52:19,849 --> 00:52:21,241 Two balls. 946 00:52:22,527 --> 00:52:23,954 [man] That's crazy. 947 00:52:23,989 --> 00:52:25,624 One more time. We're gonna do it a little different this time. 948 00:52:25,659 --> 00:52:28,616 That leaves you with two balls and a magical wand. 949 00:52:28,651 --> 00:52:31,156 Watch. When I hit the wand over like that, 950 00:52:31,191 --> 00:52:32,861 did you see it happen? 951 00:52:32,896 --> 00:52:34,079 Don't open up your hand. 952 00:52:34,113 --> 00:52:36,410 Could you rub your hand over it like that, if you would? 953 00:52:36,444 --> 00:52:38,115 Rub your hand over. 954 00:52:38,149 --> 00:52:40,968 I think something's happened. What goes with two balls? 955 00:52:41,002 --> 00:52:42,080 [giggling] 956 00:52:42,116 --> 00:52:43,194 [all laughing] 957 00:52:44,272 --> 00:52:46,742 You don't know what goes with two balls? 958 00:52:46,778 --> 00:52:47,787 Take a look and let's see. 959 00:52:48,552 --> 00:52:49,805 [all laughing] 960 00:52:52,066 --> 00:52:53,457 [gasps] 961 00:52:55,058 --> 00:52:57,111 I'm telling you, it's Griselda! 962 00:52:57,145 --> 00:52:58,468 She don't eat garlic, 963 00:52:58,502 --> 00:53:01,495 she's never embarrassed me in front of my friends, 964 00:53:01,529 --> 00:53:03,826 and most of all, Bucky, 965 00:53:03,860 --> 00:53:05,844 her farts smell better than yours. 966 00:53:05,878 --> 00:53:09,045 -Oh, J.J. -And don't call me J.J.! 967 00:53:09,079 --> 00:53:12,071 Oh, I love it when you get angry. 968 00:53:14,124 --> 00:53:15,550 [slow music playing] 969 00:53:15,585 --> 00:53:17,325 [GrossOut] Guys, I gotta get in there. 970 00:53:17,359 --> 00:53:19,412 I gotta go into the loo. Look out. 971 00:53:26,058 --> 00:53:26,962 [burps] 972 00:53:35,277 --> 00:53:36,391 [urinating] 973 00:53:37,086 --> 00:53:38,757 [exhales] 974 00:53:39,626 --> 00:53:42,479 [woman] Get your hands off my ass! 975 00:53:45,192 --> 00:53:46,724 [screams] 976 00:53:50,864 --> 00:53:54,760 Oh, J.J., I just love it when you scream. 977 00:53:56,709 --> 00:53:58,136 Give me a description. 978 00:53:58,170 --> 00:54:02,415 It's about two feet ten inches tall, uh, 50 pounds, 979 00:54:02,449 --> 00:54:03,354 well-hung. 980 00:54:03,737 --> 00:54:04,955 Well-hung? 981 00:54:04,989 --> 00:54:06,381 Yeah, you know. It has a... 982 00:54:06,416 --> 00:54:09,164 [clears throat] It has a large penis. 983 00:54:09,200 --> 00:54:11,043 "Large penis." 984 00:54:11,078 --> 00:54:11,983 Look, Boyd. 985 00:54:12,017 --> 00:54:13,618 Hey, let me see that. 986 00:54:13,652 --> 00:54:15,949 Oh, my God, they defiled him. 987 00:54:16,749 --> 00:54:18,524 Isn't that a rather large wang 988 00:54:18,558 --> 00:54:20,890 for a statue two feet ten inches tall? 989 00:54:20,924 --> 00:54:22,733 It's always been that size, sir. 990 00:54:22,767 --> 00:54:24,021 Stood here for 40 years. 991 00:54:24,055 --> 00:54:25,830 It's our sacred phallus. 992 00:54:25,864 --> 00:54:27,569 Look what they've done to it. 993 00:54:27,604 --> 00:54:29,240 Your sacred phallus? 994 00:54:29,274 --> 00:54:31,117 -I think I know who's behind this, Lloyd. -Who? 995 00:54:31,153 --> 00:54:32,545 -So do I, Boyd. -Who? 996 00:54:32,579 --> 00:54:35,119 And I think this is the rope that's gonna hang 'em. 997 00:54:35,154 --> 00:54:36,406 Hang who? 998 00:54:36,442 --> 00:54:39,573 We strike tonight, Percy. We get 'em in one swoop. 999 00:54:42,390 --> 00:54:43,748 Who? 1000 00:54:44,513 --> 00:54:46,078 [suspenseful music playing] 1001 00:54:47,400 --> 00:54:49,071 [snoring] 1002 00:54:51,645 --> 00:54:55,820 They are a mean, rotten bunch, Percy. Watch your step. 1003 00:55:18,643 --> 00:55:19,757 [Percy] Psst! 1004 00:55:28,489 --> 00:55:29,881 [clattering] 1005 00:55:33,534 --> 00:55:35,796 All right, everybody, freeze! 1006 00:55:35,830 --> 00:55:37,222 We got a search warrant. 1007 00:55:37,258 --> 00:55:39,728 Signed too! No tricks! 1008 00:55:41,780 --> 00:55:44,911 All right, I've got you by the short hairs now! 1009 00:55:48,008 --> 00:55:49,469 Breaking and entering, huh? 1010 00:55:49,504 --> 00:55:50,757 Burglary! 1011 00:55:50,791 --> 00:55:53,505 Possession of stolen property. 1012 00:55:53,539 --> 00:55:54,792 That's big time. 1013 00:55:54,827 --> 00:55:59,107 No parole, no probation, no mercy-- 1014 00:56:06,030 --> 00:56:10,344 I'll see this traveling circle jerks of yours in leg irons! 1015 00:56:10,379 --> 00:56:14,206 And you, you slob, don't try to look so innocent. 1016 00:56:14,240 --> 00:56:17,754 I wasn't trying to look innocent, I was trying to look guilty. 1017 00:56:17,790 --> 00:56:20,016 Now, we've got a warrant to search this place, 1018 00:56:20,051 --> 00:56:22,486 and you all know what we're looking for. 1019 00:56:22,522 --> 00:56:24,017 So why don't you get smart? 1020 00:56:24,052 --> 00:56:26,000 Why don't you make it easy on yourselves? 1021 00:56:26,036 --> 00:56:28,923 Turn over that statue right now. 1022 00:56:28,957 --> 00:56:30,662 You're not accusing us of stealing that-- 1023 00:56:30,697 --> 00:56:33,063 Stuff a sock in it, son. 1024 00:56:33,098 --> 00:56:35,708 Percy, let's start searching. 1025 00:56:37,830 --> 00:56:39,012 Degenerate! 1026 00:56:41,378 --> 00:56:42,909 ♪ 1027 00:57:05,141 --> 00:57:06,150 Is there someone in there? 1028 00:57:09,316 --> 00:57:10,290 Answer me! 1029 00:57:11,230 --> 00:57:13,073 [farts] 1030 00:57:19,754 --> 00:57:20,623 [gags] 1031 00:57:22,224 --> 00:57:23,406 [coughing] 1032 00:57:33,009 --> 00:57:34,088 [clattering] 1033 00:57:51,171 --> 00:57:52,110 [sighs] 1034 00:57:57,572 --> 00:57:59,869 Oh, pardon me, miss. 1035 00:58:06,792 --> 00:58:07,731 Miss? 1036 00:58:09,576 --> 00:58:10,515 Miss? 1037 00:58:15,316 --> 00:58:16,742 Oh. 1038 00:58:20,604 --> 00:58:22,831 I love it. I love it. 1039 00:58:23,527 --> 00:58:24,814 Fornicate me. 1040 00:58:24,849 --> 00:58:26,345 Who, me? I'm married. 1041 00:58:26,380 --> 00:58:29,407 I love you. Kiss me, kiss me. 1042 00:58:29,441 --> 00:58:30,520 Dean Doyle! 1043 00:58:31,076 --> 00:58:32,398 Dean Doyle! 1044 00:58:36,399 --> 00:58:38,418 I love to please you. 1045 00:58:40,540 --> 00:58:42,175 I'm a real girl. 1046 00:58:42,801 --> 00:58:44,923 [Percy] Dean Doyle! 1047 00:58:44,959 --> 00:58:47,394 Dean Doyle! Dean Doyle! 1048 00:58:48,090 --> 00:58:49,585 Griselda! 1049 00:58:49,621 --> 00:58:51,847 I love you, I love you, 1050 00:58:51,882 --> 00:58:54,421 I love you, I love you, I love you... 1051 00:58:54,457 --> 00:58:56,927 Filthy, disgusting degenerates! 1052 00:58:58,806 --> 00:58:59,884 [hissing] 1053 00:58:59,919 --> 00:59:02,042 You fucking murderers! 1054 00:59:03,085 --> 00:59:04,094 [yells] 1055 00:59:04,129 --> 00:59:05,903 Shit! 1056 00:59:05,938 --> 00:59:07,573 [crashing] 1057 00:59:10,913 --> 00:59:12,757 -I'll see you tomorrow. -Okay, yeah. I'll see you. 1058 00:59:12,792 --> 00:59:13,974 -Bye-bye. -Bye. 1059 00:59:15,889 --> 00:59:17,071 [sighs] 1060 00:59:19,471 --> 00:59:21,455 ♪ 1061 00:59:35,093 --> 00:59:36,241 [grunts] 1062 00:59:47,306 --> 00:59:49,289 Bobby, come on. 1063 00:59:49,323 --> 00:59:52,246 Betty, did you have a good time at the homecoming dance? 1064 00:59:52,280 --> 00:59:53,602 I would have, if it hadn't been 1065 00:59:53,637 --> 00:59:55,934 for that funny stuff in the punch bowl. 1066 00:59:55,968 --> 00:59:58,751 You can't go to a party anymore where there's Pi Kaps 1067 00:59:58,787 --> 01:00:01,604 without having those rubber things floating around. 1068 01:00:01,640 --> 01:00:03,205 Wow! 1069 01:00:03,240 --> 01:00:05,049 This is terrific! 1070 01:00:05,084 --> 01:00:07,694 Bobby, I can't stand those fucking guys. 1071 01:00:07,728 --> 01:00:10,094 They are such total jerks. 1072 01:00:10,128 --> 01:00:12,460 Why don't they kick 'em off campus? 1073 01:00:12,494 --> 01:00:14,199 Kick 'em off campus? 1074 01:00:14,235 --> 01:00:15,765 They ought to kick 'em in the balls. 1075 01:00:15,800 --> 01:00:17,505 They ought to string them up. 1076 01:00:17,539 --> 01:00:20,323 They're disgusting! 1077 01:00:20,357 --> 01:00:22,758 Come on, give me a boost up the tree. 1078 01:00:22,793 --> 01:00:24,985 We're looking for bigger game tonight. 1079 01:00:36,953 --> 01:00:38,484 [chuckling] 1080 01:00:38,518 --> 01:00:40,050 Can you see anything? 1081 01:00:40,084 --> 01:00:41,441 Mm-hmm. 1082 01:00:41,893 --> 01:00:43,564 Yeah. [chuckling] 1083 01:00:45,129 --> 01:00:46,486 Is she pretty? 1084 01:00:46,521 --> 01:00:47,808 Mm-hmm. 1085 01:00:51,740 --> 01:00:53,409 [sighs] 1086 01:00:53,445 --> 01:00:55,045 What's she wearing? 1087 01:00:58,141 --> 01:00:59,393 Not much. 1088 01:01:04,960 --> 01:01:06,108 What is she doing now? 1089 01:01:07,361 --> 01:01:09,344 She's looking at me and... 1090 01:01:10,179 --> 01:01:11,710 and she's... 1091 01:01:11,745 --> 01:01:13,102 -[screaming] -Screaming. 1092 01:01:13,136 --> 01:01:14,215 Oh, shit! 1093 01:01:16,407 --> 01:01:17,415 [grunts] 1094 01:01:17,903 --> 01:01:19,016 [groans] 1095 01:01:19,051 --> 01:01:21,590 [woman] I feel so awful and so responsible. 1096 01:01:21,626 --> 01:01:24,305 -Should we take the mask off? -Good idea. 1097 01:01:26,184 --> 01:01:29,419 Oh, my gosh. He's so good-looking. 1098 01:01:29,454 --> 01:01:31,751 Why would he wanna go around dressed as an ape? 1099 01:01:31,785 --> 01:01:33,454 It's a long story. 1100 01:01:33,490 --> 01:01:37,004 I feel so awful. I hope he isn't badly hurt. 1101 01:01:38,952 --> 01:01:41,249 Are you okay? Can you hear me? 1102 01:01:41,804 --> 01:01:43,371 [siren wailing] 1103 01:01:45,041 --> 01:01:46,641 [tires screeching] 1104 01:02:03,585 --> 01:02:04,941 Excuse us, ma'am. 1105 01:02:16,458 --> 01:02:18,754 -Can I go with him? -Why not? 1106 01:02:22,442 --> 01:02:24,285 Come on, let's follow in my car. 1107 01:02:29,991 --> 01:02:31,418 [tires screeching] 1108 01:02:33,158 --> 01:02:35,871 About time that jerk took a tumble. 1109 01:02:35,906 --> 01:02:37,229 [siren wailing] 1110 01:02:45,822 --> 01:02:47,144 Air. 1111 01:02:47,178 --> 01:02:48,605 -[gasping] -What? 1112 01:02:48,640 --> 01:02:50,449 -Air. [coughs] -Air. 1113 01:02:50,484 --> 01:02:52,224 -I can't breathe. -Okay. 1114 01:02:52,258 --> 01:02:53,406 I can't breathe. 1115 01:02:55,633 --> 01:02:57,407 I can't breathe. [coughs] 1116 01:02:57,443 --> 01:02:59,008 You can't breathe? 1117 01:02:59,042 --> 01:03:01,618 Do... Do you want me to undo this? 1118 01:03:01,652 --> 01:03:03,253 Yes, yes, hurry. 1119 01:03:03,287 --> 01:03:04,575 [panting] 1120 01:03:04,609 --> 01:03:06,836 -It's jammed. I can't get it out. -Hurry. 1121 01:03:08,784 --> 01:03:09,932 [groaning] 1122 01:03:19,048 --> 01:03:20,057 Is that better? 1123 01:03:20,091 --> 01:03:22,005 [chuckles] Yeah. 1124 01:03:27,119 --> 01:03:29,138 Tommy, why are you still there? 1125 01:03:29,172 --> 01:03:31,573 You're not turning into one of those jerk-offs, are you? 1126 01:03:31,608 --> 01:03:33,173 Do I have a choice? 1127 01:03:34,704 --> 01:03:36,270 [siren wailing] 1128 01:03:43,993 --> 01:03:46,603 Oh, my God, I'm sorry. 1129 01:03:46,638 --> 01:03:50,604 -Are you okay -It's all right. It's all right. 1130 01:03:50,638 --> 01:03:53,423 I want you to move. You're on my stomach. I can't breathe. 1131 01:03:53,457 --> 01:03:55,162 Could you move down a little? 1132 01:03:55,196 --> 01:03:56,658 Yeah, a little. Yes. 1133 01:03:56,692 --> 01:03:58,641 You've got an erection! 1134 01:03:59,545 --> 01:04:01,250 Boy, I hope he's not hurt too bad. 1135 01:04:01,285 --> 01:04:03,755 Don't worry. We'll be there in a few minutes. 1136 01:04:09,844 --> 01:04:11,479 How is Kong doing? 1137 01:04:13,984 --> 01:04:15,410 [moaning] 1138 01:04:30,371 --> 01:04:31,902 [whimpering] 1139 01:04:33,085 --> 01:04:35,798 Okay, let me get a look right in your ear. 1140 01:04:35,834 --> 01:04:37,329 Good. Very good. 1141 01:04:37,364 --> 01:04:38,651 Are you a real doctor? 1142 01:04:38,687 --> 01:04:42,269 The pain is not up there. The pain is down here! 1143 01:04:42,305 --> 01:04:44,739 -I can't relieve myself. -You can't what? 1144 01:04:44,775 --> 01:04:45,679 Relieve myself. 1145 01:04:45,714 --> 01:04:48,323 Urinate. I can't piss! 1146 01:04:48,359 --> 01:04:49,715 Doctor, he can't piss! 1147 01:05:03,805 --> 01:05:07,215 [woman over P.A.] Dr. Jordan to emergency. 1148 01:05:07,251 --> 01:05:09,442 Four times a night I go into the bathroom. 1149 01:05:09,477 --> 01:05:11,043 What happens? I dribble. 1150 01:05:11,077 --> 01:05:13,826 Dribble droplets, that's all. I don't... 1151 01:05:13,860 --> 01:05:15,357 -It burns, my-- -Are you sure? 1152 01:05:15,391 --> 01:05:16,923 Huh? What happened? What? 1153 01:05:16,957 --> 01:05:19,740 Uh, listen, excuse me just a moment. 1154 01:05:19,776 --> 01:05:22,036 But, Doctor... I... 1155 01:05:22,420 --> 01:05:23,358 [gasps] 1156 01:05:29,169 --> 01:05:32,996 This is impossible. I mean, ask anybody. 1157 01:05:33,030 --> 01:05:36,023 This is medically impossible. 1158 01:05:36,057 --> 01:05:39,607 I mean, maybe in dogs or MAD magazine, but never in humans. 1159 01:05:39,641 --> 01:05:41,590 Doc, Doc, will you just get us unhooked? 1160 01:05:41,624 --> 01:05:43,921 Maybe in apes. No, not even apes. 1161 01:05:43,955 --> 01:05:45,381 Doctor, please! 1162 01:05:45,417 --> 01:05:46,843 I gotta get you guys outta here. 1163 01:05:46,878 --> 01:05:49,383 Well, I sure can't go home for the holidays like this. 1164 01:05:49,418 --> 01:05:51,609 Okay, let's get them out. Come on, let's go. 1165 01:05:51,644 --> 01:05:53,349 How can they go inside like that? 1166 01:05:53,384 --> 01:05:55,054 Wait. I have an idea. 1167 01:05:56,515 --> 01:05:58,429 This is unbelievable. 1168 01:05:58,463 --> 01:06:00,272 [woman over P.A.] Dr. Jordan to emergency. 1169 01:06:00,308 --> 01:06:02,395 Dr. Jordan to emergency. 1170 01:06:02,430 --> 01:06:03,892 [doctor] This is ridiculous. 1171 01:06:05,735 --> 01:06:07,857 Here we go. Let's bring them right down here. 1172 01:06:07,892 --> 01:06:09,876 How in the hell did you get in this position? 1173 01:06:09,910 --> 01:06:11,267 Watch this guy. 1174 01:06:14,433 --> 01:06:15,546 Let's go. 1175 01:06:17,251 --> 01:06:19,374 Okay, watch this corner. Watch this corner. 1176 01:06:19,408 --> 01:06:20,869 Okay, let's bring it right down. 1177 01:06:20,904 --> 01:06:22,713 Okay. Slowly. Right down. Come on. 1178 01:06:22,748 --> 01:06:24,731 Watch this, watch this. Watch this. 1179 01:06:24,767 --> 01:06:26,854 Okay, okay, all right. Take it easy. 1180 01:06:26,888 --> 01:06:29,150 All right, okay. To the left. To the left. 1181 01:06:29,185 --> 01:06:31,168 You're going to have to excuse us, ma'am. 1182 01:06:31,202 --> 01:06:33,534 We really have an emergency here. 1183 01:06:33,568 --> 01:06:34,926 Excuse us. Step right outside. 1184 01:06:34,960 --> 01:06:37,604 Very, very, very good. Okay. 1185 01:06:44,354 --> 01:06:46,233 That girl must be a real dog 1186 01:06:46,267 --> 01:06:48,563 if an ape put a bag over her head. 1187 01:06:51,660 --> 01:06:54,966 [woman over P.A.] Dr. Romero, Dr. Romero. 1188 01:06:55,000 --> 01:06:56,114 Please call front desk. 1189 01:06:56,148 --> 01:06:58,479 You kids are something else. 1190 01:06:58,514 --> 01:07:01,889 You run around fucking everything in sight. 1191 01:07:01,924 --> 01:07:06,134 But wait. Wait until you will get older, 1192 01:07:06,168 --> 01:07:10,099 then it will be just enough to take a good crap every day. 1193 01:07:10,135 --> 01:07:12,501 And a good piss too. 1194 01:07:14,066 --> 01:07:15,771 [grunting in pain] 1195 01:07:16,536 --> 01:07:18,693 Okay, okay, pull. Ow! 1196 01:07:18,728 --> 01:07:20,294 What's going on in there? 1197 01:07:21,338 --> 01:07:24,712 In my day, they just threw cold water. 1198 01:07:24,747 --> 01:07:26,070 They didn't make a production. 1199 01:07:26,104 --> 01:07:27,635 They cooled them off, and that's all. 1200 01:07:27,669 --> 01:07:28,574 Do you know what I mean? 1201 01:07:28,609 --> 01:07:30,906 Okay, this way now. No, no, this way. 1202 01:07:30,940 --> 01:07:31,914 One. 1203 01:07:35,045 --> 01:07:36,716 Okay, let's go again. 1204 01:07:36,750 --> 01:07:38,002 Two. 1205 01:07:40,125 --> 01:07:41,308 Okay. [panting] 1206 01:07:41,343 --> 01:07:44,265 Okay, come on, let's go, one more time. Here we go. 1207 01:07:44,996 --> 01:07:46,214 Three! 1208 01:07:46,248 --> 01:07:47,327 [pops] 1209 01:07:47,362 --> 01:07:48,580 [crashing] 1210 01:07:49,484 --> 01:07:51,363 [dog howling] 1211 01:07:58,078 --> 01:07:59,434 Excuse me. 1212 01:08:11,020 --> 01:08:13,038 [romantic music playing] 1213 01:08:18,187 --> 01:08:21,144 Tommy, please, don't. 1214 01:08:21,179 --> 01:08:25,041 I like you. I really do. But I can't. 1215 01:08:25,075 --> 01:08:28,451 I'm sorry, I just wish things were simple. 1216 01:08:28,485 --> 01:08:30,051 Yeah. Me too. 1217 01:08:30,538 --> 01:08:32,139 I've got to go. 1218 01:08:32,173 --> 01:08:34,087 -Yeah. -Tommy. 1219 01:08:41,463 --> 01:08:42,646 Good night. 1220 01:08:42,681 --> 01:08:44,177 [crashing] 1221 01:08:44,211 --> 01:08:46,856 I can't take it. I just can't take it. 1222 01:08:46,890 --> 01:08:48,943 Do you mean to tell me you've never gotten laid? 1223 01:08:48,977 --> 01:08:50,439 -Never? -Ever. 1224 01:08:50,474 --> 01:08:51,970 It's unheard of in a fellow of your age. 1225 01:08:52,004 --> 01:08:54,823 And a Pi Kap too. Totally unacceptable. 1226 01:08:54,857 --> 01:08:57,780 We can't let this get out. Let's de-pledge him. 1227 01:08:57,815 --> 01:09:00,390 De-pledge me? Come on, you guys. 1228 01:09:00,424 --> 01:09:02,095 God, if I knew it was that important, 1229 01:09:02,129 --> 01:09:03,556 I would have said something before. 1230 01:09:03,590 --> 01:09:05,677 Well, then we'll have to remedy the situation. 1231 01:09:07,104 --> 01:09:09,297 ♪ 1232 01:09:18,238 --> 01:09:19,212 Hey. 1233 01:09:23,909 --> 01:09:25,891 Well, Thomas, my boy. This is your big day. 1234 01:09:25,927 --> 01:09:27,527 Wait. But I don't know about this! 1235 01:09:27,562 --> 01:09:29,962 Give me that bag, 'cause you ain't gonna need it. 1236 01:09:29,998 --> 01:09:31,424 Look, guys. I don't... I don't know. 1237 01:09:31,458 --> 01:09:33,476 Maybe Joan's right. Maybe I'm not ready. 1238 01:09:33,512 --> 01:09:35,042 Maybe I should wait a little longer. 1239 01:09:35,077 --> 01:09:36,190 [laughs] Oh, no way. 1240 01:09:36,225 --> 01:09:37,861 You do an afternoon delight. 1241 01:09:37,895 --> 01:09:39,356 Watch out, front teeth. 1242 01:09:39,391 --> 01:09:40,852 [GrossOut laughing] 1243 01:09:42,036 --> 01:09:43,879 [slow music playing] 1244 01:09:51,603 --> 01:09:52,577 [burps] 1245 01:09:53,273 --> 01:09:55,709 Oh, no, not you again. 1246 01:09:55,743 --> 01:09:57,100 What's happening? 1247 01:09:57,135 --> 01:09:59,187 I hope you didn't bring that doll. 1248 01:09:59,223 --> 01:10:01,797 Imagine bringing a thing like that in here. 1249 01:10:01,832 --> 01:10:03,015 It's disgusting! 1250 01:10:03,049 --> 01:10:04,406 -Don't make fun of my doll-- -No, it's all right. 1251 01:10:04,441 --> 01:10:06,946 It's okay. He doesn't have it anymore. 1252 01:10:06,980 --> 01:10:08,547 Look, we brought in a cherry here 1253 01:10:08,581 --> 01:10:10,426 and we're treating him to a massage, 1254 01:10:10,460 --> 01:10:11,678 his very first massage. 1255 01:10:11,712 --> 01:10:12,930 We want your very best. 1256 01:10:12,966 --> 01:10:14,357 [Veronica] Our very best? 1257 01:10:14,392 --> 01:10:16,061 Money is no object. 1258 01:10:17,940 --> 01:10:19,263 Where'd you get that? 1259 01:10:19,297 --> 01:10:21,141 His father is paying for it. 1260 01:10:21,176 --> 01:10:24,133 Well, I see. How thoughtful. 1261 01:10:24,168 --> 01:10:25,873 Let me get my staff out here. 1262 01:10:26,360 --> 01:10:27,787 [whistle blowing] 1263 01:10:29,839 --> 01:10:31,962 All right, over here. Thomas, my boy. 1264 01:10:32,936 --> 01:10:34,779 Look at the goodies. 1265 01:10:38,467 --> 01:10:39,511 [mouthing] 1266 01:11:07,449 --> 01:11:10,198 I was hoping for someone really special. 1267 01:11:10,232 --> 01:11:13,920 Well, there is somebody that comes by here on a part-time basis. 1268 01:11:13,955 --> 01:11:16,182 If you want, I could see if she can come over. 1269 01:11:16,216 --> 01:11:17,608 It will cost you extra, though. 1270 01:11:20,844 --> 01:11:22,513 Well, there's only one first time. 1271 01:11:23,453 --> 01:11:24,810 He deserves the best. 1272 01:11:26,167 --> 01:11:27,837 Good talent is worth waiting for. 1273 01:11:27,872 --> 01:11:29,124 You might as well sit down. 1274 01:11:31,316 --> 01:11:33,056 [dialing] 1275 01:11:33,091 --> 01:11:35,665 -Mind if I smoke? -Huh? 1276 01:11:36,187 --> 01:11:37,544 Mind if I smoke? 1277 01:11:37,578 --> 01:11:40,188 Of course not. Do you mind if I fart? 1278 01:11:40,223 --> 01:11:41,266 [laughs] 1279 01:11:41,301 --> 01:11:44,049 Hello, Monica? Hi, this is Veronica. 1280 01:11:44,085 --> 01:11:47,599 Listen, can you possibly make it down here right away? 1281 01:11:47,633 --> 01:11:50,695 Yeah? I'll make it worth your while. 1282 01:11:50,730 --> 01:11:52,017 Okay. See ya. 1283 01:11:52,609 --> 01:11:54,104 She's coming right over. 1284 01:11:55,496 --> 01:11:58,976 Hey, Father Leadpipe. How is your bell now? 1285 01:11:59,010 --> 01:12:01,724 Oh, ringing as usual, Veronica. 1286 01:12:01,759 --> 01:12:02,560 [both laugh] 1287 01:12:02,594 --> 01:12:04,542 Right this way, Father. 1288 01:12:04,577 --> 01:12:07,186 This way, Father. This way. This way. 1289 01:12:10,039 --> 01:12:11,048 [burps] 1290 01:12:11,779 --> 01:12:13,867 Father? 1291 01:12:13,901 --> 01:12:15,989 [Veronica] Would you mind making room for the Father? 1292 01:12:16,023 --> 01:12:18,355 No, I gotta go take a dump anyhow. 1293 01:12:18,389 --> 01:12:19,815 Hey, where's the shitter? 1294 01:12:19,851 --> 01:12:21,903 The first door to your right. 1295 01:12:21,938 --> 01:12:23,469 What are you doing with these? 1296 01:12:23,503 --> 01:12:26,913 Oh, well, we put these panties in bags, 1297 01:12:26,949 --> 01:12:28,548 and staple them shut. 1298 01:12:28,584 --> 01:12:30,114 Customers buy them. 1299 01:12:30,149 --> 01:12:32,376 -They buy 'em? -Sure. 1300 01:12:32,410 --> 01:12:34,811 Sort of a souvenir of the occasion. 1301 01:12:34,846 --> 01:12:36,168 How much do you charge? 1302 01:12:36,203 --> 01:12:37,281 Ten bucks a pair. 1303 01:12:37,316 --> 01:12:38,951 Ten bucks? Kinda high, isn't it? 1304 01:12:38,986 --> 01:12:40,726 Not for these. 1305 01:12:40,760 --> 01:12:44,100 Veronica, I think I'm ready now. 1306 01:12:44,136 --> 01:12:46,362 Could you take the Father to the men's room? 1307 01:12:47,197 --> 01:12:48,623 Yeah, sure. 1308 01:12:48,658 --> 01:12:49,841 Come on, Father. 1309 01:12:54,190 --> 01:12:55,547 [defecating] 1310 01:12:57,530 --> 01:12:59,339 [sensual music playing] 1311 01:13:12,942 --> 01:13:14,752 The guy who comes here to get laid, 1312 01:13:14,787 --> 01:13:16,839 he usually has his shorts off. 1313 01:13:29,156 --> 01:13:30,478 Why don't you roll over, honey? 1314 01:13:30,512 --> 01:13:32,669 We'll get right to the good parts. 1315 01:13:37,331 --> 01:13:39,419 What the hell are you doing here? 1316 01:13:39,454 --> 01:13:41,472 What are you doing here? 1317 01:13:45,125 --> 01:13:46,935 [Boyd] It's been two days, gentlemen. 1318 01:13:46,969 --> 01:13:49,788 The police, Doyle, no one's turned up a clue. 1319 01:13:49,822 --> 01:13:54,762 Our sacred Dionysus is out there somewhere, defiled, alone. 1320 01:13:54,797 --> 01:13:56,920 He must be returned. 1321 01:13:56,954 --> 01:14:00,085 I say it's time we take matters into our own hands. 1322 01:14:00,121 --> 01:14:01,442 How do we do that, Boyd? 1323 01:14:01,477 --> 01:14:03,461 Well, we know there's stuff going on in the house, 1324 01:14:03,495 --> 01:14:06,035 and anyone capable of walking out of here with a hot comb 1325 01:14:06,070 --> 01:14:08,435 is capable of walking out with Dionysus. 1326 01:14:08,471 --> 01:14:10,627 We're dealing with an inside job. 1327 01:14:10,663 --> 01:14:11,567 One of us? 1328 01:14:11,601 --> 01:14:14,698 No, not a brother, a mother. 1329 01:14:14,732 --> 01:14:17,725 Pi Kaps have a man planted right here. I'm sure of it. 1330 01:14:17,759 --> 01:14:18,630 Who? 1331 01:14:20,091 --> 01:14:21,413 [Boyd] Splash. 1332 01:14:22,491 --> 01:14:23,709 Somebody called? 1333 01:14:23,743 --> 01:14:26,249 Splash, my friend, could I have a word with you? 1334 01:14:26,597 --> 01:14:27,467 Yes, boss. 1335 01:14:27,501 --> 01:14:29,136 Maybe you can help me. 1336 01:14:29,172 --> 01:14:32,233 You remember that statue we used to have here, the one that disappeared? 1337 01:14:32,268 --> 01:14:33,416 Yes, boss. 1338 01:14:33,451 --> 01:14:34,808 Well, if we could get it back, 1339 01:14:34,842 --> 01:14:37,208 it might be worth something for you. 1340 01:14:37,243 --> 01:14:40,305 Well, I think I might be able to locate it for you. 1341 01:14:40,339 --> 01:14:42,148 That's what I thought. Grab him. 1342 01:14:42,184 --> 01:14:43,784 Splash, you really fucked up. 1343 01:14:43,819 --> 01:14:46,811 In ancient Greece, when a messenger was given something important, 1344 01:14:46,846 --> 01:14:48,202 they often tattooed it to his scalp 1345 01:14:48,238 --> 01:14:49,977 and let the hair grow back out. 1346 01:14:50,011 --> 01:14:53,387 We have a message for that sick fraternity you belong to. 1347 01:14:53,421 --> 01:14:55,891 Only our message isn't so secret. 1348 01:14:55,927 --> 01:14:57,039 Here it is. 1349 01:15:05,007 --> 01:15:08,660 Look, the suckers were over in, Doyle's got us set up. 1350 01:15:08,695 --> 01:15:11,896 Now sooner or later, he'll be back with the storm troopers 1351 01:15:11,930 --> 01:15:13,983 and bust our collective asses. 1352 01:15:14,018 --> 01:15:16,975 I got yours, Chief. One pepperoni and peanut butter. 1353 01:15:17,010 --> 01:15:19,202 [sighs] Jesus. All you guys think about is eating. 1354 01:15:19,236 --> 01:15:21,115 We're in a serious situation here! 1355 01:15:21,150 --> 01:15:23,968 Well, a man can't fart or belch without eating. 1356 01:15:24,004 --> 01:15:26,508 Is it too late to take one more order? 1357 01:15:27,552 --> 01:15:28,804 Splash! 1358 01:15:29,883 --> 01:15:33,119 Oh, man! Who did this, Splash? 1359 01:15:33,153 --> 01:15:35,624 Those asshole Alphas. 1360 01:15:35,658 --> 01:15:36,876 Goddamn it! 1361 01:15:36,911 --> 01:15:39,903 That's it, man. They pushed us too damn far. 1362 01:15:39,937 --> 01:15:43,869 Anybody that can't take a harmless joke now and then has gotta pay for it. 1363 01:15:43,904 --> 01:15:46,200 Aw, shit. Let's get him to the couch. 1364 01:15:50,132 --> 01:15:51,210 Put this in. 1365 01:15:52,602 --> 01:15:54,341 Why'd they do it, Splash? 1366 01:15:54,759 --> 01:15:56,429 That statue. 1367 01:15:56,464 --> 01:15:59,247 If we were smart, we'd take that stone faggot back to those turds 1368 01:15:59,282 --> 01:16:00,812 and forget this whole damn thing. 1369 01:16:05,823 --> 01:16:07,423 Alphas! 1370 01:16:10,380 --> 01:16:12,920 Well, so much for that argument. 1371 01:16:18,243 --> 01:16:19,461 [spits and burps] 1372 01:16:20,783 --> 01:16:22,210 Alphas! 1373 01:16:22,767 --> 01:16:24,263 You in there? 1374 01:16:24,297 --> 01:16:26,733 You little legend of horseshits! 1375 01:16:28,855 --> 01:16:31,047 Show your faces, you... 1376 01:16:31,081 --> 01:16:33,064 chicken-shit faggots! 1377 01:16:33,935 --> 01:16:35,187 Yeah, you! 1378 01:16:36,822 --> 01:16:40,336 You take yourselves so goddamn serious. 1379 01:16:40,371 --> 01:16:42,494 Don't you know that all this is shit? 1380 01:16:43,989 --> 01:16:46,599 That you're a bunch of shits? 1381 01:16:46,633 --> 01:16:50,426 And that for the next 40 years of your lives 1382 01:16:50,461 --> 01:16:54,322 you're probably gonna be shoveling that shit. 1383 01:16:54,358 --> 01:16:55,958 What's he talking about, Lloyd? 1384 01:16:55,993 --> 01:16:57,767 Sounds like shit to me, Boyd. 1385 01:16:58,533 --> 01:16:59,751 [spits] 1386 01:17:01,316 --> 01:17:04,377 Hey, pig fucker and needle dick! 1387 01:17:06,360 --> 01:17:08,483 I got a present for you. 1388 01:17:10,397 --> 01:17:12,414 [glass breaking] 1389 01:17:12,449 --> 01:17:15,928 You want the rest of your precious statue back, 1390 01:17:15,963 --> 01:17:17,667 you know where to find it. 1391 01:17:18,572 --> 01:17:21,043 It's Pi Kappa house. 1392 01:17:21,077 --> 01:17:23,861 It's King-fucking-Frat on this campus. 1393 01:17:23,895 --> 01:17:27,688 It always has been, it always will be! 1394 01:17:30,749 --> 01:17:32,698 This does it, Lloyd. 1395 01:17:32,732 --> 01:17:33,846 [crunching] 1396 01:17:33,880 --> 01:17:35,516 Despicable scumbags. 1397 01:17:35,551 --> 01:17:37,638 We've got to get Dionysus back. 1398 01:17:38,474 --> 01:17:40,352 I think my foot's bleeding, Boyd. 1399 01:17:40,387 --> 01:17:44,109 We hit them tonight. We clobber that roach-trap. 1400 01:17:46,754 --> 01:17:49,955 [dramatic drum music playing] 1401 01:17:59,244 --> 01:18:03,037 Hey, when Dunstan Woods comes to Pi Kap house, 1402 01:18:03,071 --> 01:18:05,089 it must be the fucking Alphas. 1403 01:18:05,124 --> 01:18:06,411 [laughs] 1404 01:18:08,220 --> 01:18:09,646 [horn blowing] 1405 01:18:09,682 --> 01:18:11,108 [chanting] Alphas suck! Hey! 1406 01:18:11,143 --> 01:18:12,604 Alphas suck! Hey! 1407 01:18:12,639 --> 01:18:14,240 Alphas suck! Hey! 1408 01:18:14,274 --> 01:18:15,596 Alphas suck! Hey! 1409 01:18:15,631 --> 01:18:17,335 Alphas suck! Hey! 1410 01:18:17,371 --> 01:18:18,866 Alphas suck! 1411 01:18:18,902 --> 01:18:20,432 Alphas suck! 1412 01:18:20,467 --> 01:18:22,033 [all clamoring] 1413 01:18:24,050 --> 01:18:25,651 King-fucking-Frat! 1414 01:18:26,208 --> 01:18:27,704 [all yelling] 1415 01:18:28,782 --> 01:18:30,940 ♪ 1416 01:18:55,363 --> 01:18:59,260 Long time ago, my people, the Kissawong tribe, 1417 01:18:59,294 --> 01:19:01,104 lived on this very land. 1418 01:19:01,695 --> 01:19:03,260 We hunted the forests... 1419 01:19:03,296 --> 01:19:04,827 [siren wailing] 1420 01:19:09,245 --> 01:19:13,003 I want this... I want this terminated immediately! 1421 01:19:13,037 --> 01:19:15,160 Go back to your dorms! 1422 01:19:15,194 --> 01:19:16,516 To your dormitories! 1423 01:19:16,551 --> 01:19:19,195 I want this... I want this terminated immediately! 1424 01:19:19,231 --> 01:19:21,353 Mayday! Mayday! 1425 01:19:22,953 --> 01:19:25,110 [Dean Doyle] Go back to your dorms! 1426 01:19:25,145 --> 01:19:27,267 Go back to your dormitories! 1427 01:19:27,302 --> 01:19:29,007 I'll call up the riot squad, 1428 01:19:29,041 --> 01:19:31,163 and you all will be doing hard time! 1429 01:19:33,982 --> 01:19:36,730 I want this... I want this terminated immediately! 1430 01:19:37,670 --> 01:19:39,479 Go back to your dorms! 1431 01:19:39,513 --> 01:19:40,627 [siren wailing] 1432 01:19:42,889 --> 01:19:44,663 I'll call up the riot squad, 1433 01:19:44,698 --> 01:19:47,516 and you all will be doing hard time! 1434 01:19:49,151 --> 01:19:52,595 All right, I'll see you all in solitary! 1435 01:19:52,631 --> 01:19:54,440 ♪ When you say, bud 1436 01:19:54,474 --> 01:19:58,197 ♪ King Frat, King Frat 1437 01:19:58,232 --> 01:20:01,050 ♪ Place is never boring Everybody's exploring ♪ 1438 01:20:01,085 --> 01:20:04,599 ♪ Something's always brewing Come, hear what they're doing ♪ 1439 01:20:04,633 --> 01:20:07,939 ♪ Cutting loose and they're Polluting the skies ♪ 1440 01:20:07,973 --> 01:20:11,070 ♪ Nothing's going to Embarrass the guys ♪ 1441 01:20:11,104 --> 01:20:14,236 ♪ They'll do anything That's going to help them ♪ 1442 01:20:14,271 --> 01:20:17,298 ♪ Make their plans 1443 01:20:19,386 --> 01:20:21,195 Oh, shit! 1444 01:20:25,543 --> 01:20:27,804 Oh, no, not you again. 1445 01:20:29,509 --> 01:20:30,727 [grunting] 1446 01:20:32,049 --> 01:20:33,023 Hey! 1447 01:20:35,633 --> 01:20:37,581 ♪ 1448 01:21:11,259 --> 01:21:12,721 ♪ 1449 01:21:17,209 --> 01:21:18,566 Give me five! 1450 01:21:26,324 --> 01:21:27,925 [groans] 1451 01:21:29,386 --> 01:21:31,682 All right, fire one! 1452 01:21:33,248 --> 01:21:35,474 [screams] 1453 01:21:35,510 --> 01:21:36,936 Get 'em. Get 'em, Kevin! Get 'em, Kevin! 1454 01:21:36,970 --> 01:21:38,154 Fire two! 1455 01:21:38,745 --> 01:21:39,963 [screams] 1456 01:21:39,997 --> 01:21:41,250 [both laughing] 1457 01:21:41,285 --> 01:21:42,225 One more, one more. 1458 01:21:42,259 --> 01:21:44,973 All right. Fire three! 1459 01:21:45,703 --> 01:21:46,747 [screams] 1460 01:21:46,782 --> 01:21:48,069 [both laughing] 1461 01:21:48,696 --> 01:21:50,018 Do it again! Do it again! 1462 01:21:50,052 --> 01:21:51,723 Fire four! 1463 01:22:00,872 --> 01:22:02,403 You gotta forgive me for this. 1464 01:22:11,971 --> 01:22:13,397 [sirens wailing] 1465 01:22:17,468 --> 01:22:18,860 [whistle blowing] 1466 01:22:22,166 --> 01:22:24,357 [clamoring] 1467 01:22:43,492 --> 01:22:45,267 [man chuckling] 1468 01:22:45,962 --> 01:22:47,876 [indistinct chattering] 1469 01:23:00,366 --> 01:23:01,723 You're our legal mind, Gross. 1470 01:23:01,758 --> 01:23:03,498 What do you think our chances are? 1471 01:23:03,532 --> 01:23:04,890 [farts] 1472 01:23:04,924 --> 01:23:06,386 That's what I thought you'd say. 1473 01:23:07,707 --> 01:23:08,925 [murmuring] 1474 01:23:27,956 --> 01:23:31,540 I have news for you, lemmings. 1475 01:23:31,575 --> 01:23:33,071 You know who the judge is? 1476 01:23:33,558 --> 01:23:34,602 Howard the Duck? 1477 01:23:34,636 --> 01:23:35,715 Perry Mason? 1478 01:23:35,750 --> 01:23:37,454 Chief Running Antelope? 1479 01:23:37,489 --> 01:23:39,890 No, you smartasses. 1480 01:23:39,925 --> 01:23:41,699 It's Crumneagle. 1481 01:23:41,734 --> 01:23:42,952 Crumneagle! 1482 01:23:42,986 --> 01:23:45,839 The hanging judge of Yellowstream county! 1483 01:23:45,874 --> 01:23:46,883 [laughs] 1484 01:23:46,918 --> 01:23:47,926 [mimics choking] 1485 01:23:51,128 --> 01:23:53,528 Looks like Doyle finally bought a ticket to the funny farm. 1486 01:23:53,563 --> 01:23:56,138 I could give a shit, that fuckin' murderer. 1487 01:23:56,172 --> 01:23:57,424 Fucking dummy! 1488 01:23:59,756 --> 01:24:01,148 All rise! 1489 01:24:01,182 --> 01:24:02,957 All ears, all ears, all ears. 1490 01:24:02,991 --> 01:24:06,436 Those having business with the third circuit court of Yellowstream county 1491 01:24:06,471 --> 01:24:09,011 the honorable Judge Lester Crumneagle presiding. 1492 01:24:09,045 --> 01:24:11,341 Draw near and come to order! 1493 01:24:17,917 --> 01:24:20,074 Bailiff, read the complaint. 1494 01:24:20,109 --> 01:24:21,431 [bailiff] Oh, yes, Your Honor. 1495 01:24:21,466 --> 01:24:22,997 To speed things up, Your Honor, 1496 01:24:23,031 --> 01:24:25,571 -I'll read what the defendants are not charged with. -Leadpipe. 1497 01:24:25,606 --> 01:24:27,346 Uh, very well. 1498 01:24:27,380 --> 01:24:31,207 The Pi Kaps are not charged with grand theft auto or rape. 1499 01:24:31,243 --> 01:24:35,313 Otherwise, there are 362 counts lodged against them. 1500 01:24:35,870 --> 01:24:37,540 In addition, Your Honor, 1501 01:24:37,575 --> 01:24:39,871 building inspectors found 802 violations 1502 01:24:39,905 --> 01:24:42,201 of health, sanitation, and building codes. 1503 01:24:42,237 --> 01:24:43,906 Uh, yes, well... 1504 01:24:43,942 --> 01:24:46,412 You Honor, I have important information here 1505 01:24:46,446 --> 01:24:48,847 which may change the course of these proceedings. 1506 01:24:48,882 --> 01:24:51,700 That's all been cut and dried, Your Honor! 1507 01:24:51,735 --> 01:24:54,031 These animals belong in a pen. 1508 01:24:54,065 --> 01:24:58,240 And I'm just the hairpin that can make sure they get special attention. 1509 01:24:58,276 --> 01:25:00,538 So let's knock off this nonsense. 1510 01:25:00,955 --> 01:25:02,347 Who are you? 1511 01:25:02,381 --> 01:25:04,538 Dean Delbert Doyle. 1512 01:25:04,573 --> 01:25:07,670 Well, stick it, Doyle. This is my courtroom. 1513 01:25:09,026 --> 01:25:11,879 Now, what is that you were saying? 1514 01:25:11,913 --> 01:25:15,045 I'm talking about treaties, Your Honor, Indian treaties. 1515 01:25:15,080 --> 01:25:18,142 Some remarkable research has been done by this young man, 1516 01:25:18,176 --> 01:25:22,178 and also because of some recently discovered documents, 1517 01:25:22,212 --> 01:25:25,552 indicate that the land upon which Yellowstream College is located, 1518 01:25:25,588 --> 01:25:29,136 legally belongs to the Kissawong Indian tribe. 1519 01:25:29,170 --> 01:25:30,945 [all murmuring] 1520 01:25:37,033 --> 01:25:40,617 Your Honor, I only want to see justice done. 1521 01:25:40,652 --> 01:25:42,148 You want justice? 1522 01:25:42,182 --> 01:25:44,097 I'll show you justice. 1523 01:25:44,131 --> 01:25:45,732 Not guilty. 1524 01:25:45,766 --> 01:25:46,914 Case dismissed. 1525 01:25:46,950 --> 01:25:47,993 [groans] 1526 01:25:48,028 --> 01:25:49,698 Court... 1527 01:25:49,733 --> 01:25:51,125 has adjourned. 1528 01:25:51,159 --> 01:25:52,898 [cheering] 1529 01:25:57,700 --> 01:25:59,926 ["King Frat" playing] 1530 01:26:10,399 --> 01:26:12,556 I love it. I love it. 1531 01:26:15,826 --> 01:26:18,436 But, sir, you can't put the Alphas on probation. 1532 01:26:18,471 --> 01:26:20,280 We have a 3.8 grade average. 1533 01:26:20,314 --> 01:26:22,716 And whenever one of us asks for a recommendation, 1534 01:26:22,750 --> 01:26:24,176 you write that we're all fuck-ups. 1535 01:26:24,211 --> 01:26:26,995 "Fuck-ups"? Did I say fuck-ups? 1536 01:26:27,620 --> 01:26:29,535 I mean to say "shitheads." 1537 01:26:30,856 --> 01:26:32,352 [belches] 1538 01:26:32,388 --> 01:26:34,684 [patriotic music playing] 1539 01:26:44,843 --> 01:26:46,130 [belches] 1540 01:26:47,243 --> 01:26:49,401 ♪ 1541 01:27:50,495 --> 01:27:53,139 ♪